


Of Cats and Dogs

by GabbyGums



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Animals, Bromance, Cats, Dogs, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-07 17:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13439325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabbyGums/pseuds/GabbyGums
Summary: Dan gets roped into taking care of his friend's dog.And somehow Phil manages to get hold of a cat.This can only mean chaos.





	1. Ivy and Sammy

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to write an interesting pet character just like saras_girl does all the time, so this story happened. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

Dan stared at the front door, keys dangling from his left hand. He had been standing there for at least five minutes. Now that he was standing in their hallway he was strongly rethinking his decision. He had never been an impulsive person. He had never made any hasty decisions; on the contrary, he almost always overthought everything, even when it came down to choosing his breakfast cereals.

The little bundle in his right arm started to wriggle. He looked down at the little ball of white fluff and sighed.

“I think there is no going back now,” he said. Two small black eyes looked back up at him.

Dan regarded the little white Maltese; she definitely needed a haircut. The fur around her eyes was just a bit too long.

“You think Phil will be angry?”

She tilted her head to the side and wagged her tail against his leg.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Dan sighed again. He really didn’t know how he got himself into this.

Well, actually, he did. And it wasn’t his fault at all. It was all Sara’s fault. Sara and her big, stupid, puppy dog eyes.

“Dan,” she crooned, holding the little dog right into his face. “Just look at her face! Just look at it!”

“I am looking at it,” he said, looking straight up at the ceiling and shoving at Sara’s arms. “Please don’t thrust puppies into my face.”

“But I thought you were into it.”

“Eww!”

She puckered her lips and enveloped the dog into a hug. The little creature didn’t seem to like it and squirmed and yelped.

“You’re not really looking!”

“I told you I can’t take her.”

“But just the other day you told me that your new landlord allows you to have pets!”

Dan sighed and shook his head. “That doesn’t mean I can just get a dog and turn up with it without telling Phil. And besides,” he crossed his arms over his chest and gave Sara a stern look, “neither Phil nor I have time for a dog.”

Sara huffed and let go of the poor creature, who promptly ran over to the nearest cushion and curled up on it. “You are a Youtuber, you have plenty of time.”

Dan had just opened his mouth to retort that, no, just because he worked from home didn’t mean that he was just sitting on his ass all day, when she held up a hand.

“I know, I know, you have just as much work to do as I. I’m just trying to say that you are actually able to plan your working time the way you like, unlike someone like me, who is chained to a nine to five desk job in a non-dog-friendly environment.”

Dan scowled at her. He knew she was right to some degree. “Listen, I can’t make a big decision like that the day you tell me you have an unwanted dog wandering around your apartment.”

When he saw Sara’s crestfallen face, Dan immediately regretted his words.

“How long have you known me, Dan?”

“Since university.”

“Long enough to know that I have always wanted a dog.” She looked away from Dan and over to the dog, who looked back at her with sleepy eyes. When their eyes met, the dog wagged her tail.

“It wouldn’t be forever,” Sara said eventually. “It’s just... Hannah and my schedule doesn’t allow for a dog right now. I’d love to keep Ivy. I really would. She’s all my nan’s left me. And she loved the dog to bits.”

Sara whirled around and clasped Dan’s hands in hers. “Please, Dan, can you just take her until I find someone who will take care of her? I just want to know that she’s in good hands, that’s all.”

She looked up at him with her huge, blue eyes. She had always managed to get what she wanted with those eyes. This time, though, Dan could see that she was really distressed. Well, she had just lost her nan and inherited a dog that neither she nor her family could keep. Dan thought about his family dog Colin and that was when he made a decision.

“Okay, fine. But only until you find someone else.”

Sara’s smile was radiant. “Of course!”

And that was how Dan had ended up with his keys in his hands, a bag of dog accessories dangling from his left arm and Ivy in his right.

He looked back down at Ivy, who looked up at him calmly.

He was doing this for a friend. Phil would surely understand.

“Let’s do this, then,” he said to the dog with as much determination as he could muster. Ivy’s ears pricked up and she gave a tiny huff of a bark, as if to say, “We can do this!”

Dan turned the keys, opened the door and stepped into the apartment. His eyes fell on the stairs opposite him.

The cat sitting there was looking at him with huge yellow eyes.

“What the –?” he said, as the door closed with a silent ‘click’ behind him. Both Ivy and Dan stared at the cat, who looked calmly at them.

“Arf?” said Ivy.

“Meow?” said the cat and inclined its head.

“Phil!” bellowed Dan.

*

“How on earth did you acquire a cat?”

Dan was standing in the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest. He was looking down at Phil, who was putting some tinned cat food into a bowl. He was pointedly ignoring Dan’s exasperated glare.

“And where did you get the cat food from?”

“Asda,” Phil said. It seemed like a mammoth effort to scrape the food into the little bowl.

The cat – a pretty ginger one, Dan had to admit – was purring and nuzzling around Phil. Ivy had finally managed to escape Dan’s grip and was sniffing around the kitchen, always keeping an eye on the cat.

“And may I receive an answer to my initial question?”

“You are talking like a textbook again,” Phil said and put the tin on the floor. The cat immediately attacked the little bowl. Phil grinned down at it like an idiot. Like a love-struck idiot, if Dan were asked. But he never was, apparently.

“Just answer the damn question,” Dan said, waving his arms around in dismay. “Were the hell did you get that cat from?”

“Well,” Phil said and scratched his head. “It sort of followed me.”

“Of course it did,” Dan said flatly. “And it followed you right into the flat without you noticing or what?”

“Of course not.”

Ivy had apparently decided that the kitchen wasn’t worth her time anymore and instead approached the cat. Dan and Phil, forgetting their quarrel for a moment, both watched as Ivy tentatively put one paw in front of the other, sniffing the air. The cat stopped its meal and looked up, its tail twitching. Both animals stared at each other. The cat sort of bent its head, as if it was considering whether the dog in front of it was worth its attention. Ivy, on the other hand, looked like she was about to pounce on the cat, and Dan wasn’t sure whether in a good or a bad way. He held his breath while the two animals seized each other up.

And then, without warning, the cat inclined its head just a fraction, and Ivy wagged her tail. Without missing a beat, she walked over to the bowl and started slobbering at the food. The cat just resumed its meal, sharing it without batting an eye.

“Okay,” Dan said. He wasn’t all too sure if he should be happy that their new pets – temporary pets, he had to remind himself – decided to become friends. Somehow he had an uneasy feeling about this in the pit of his stomach.

“Dan, were did you get the dog from?” Phil said, finally looking up at Dan. There was something triumphant in his voice, just as if Dan was just as naughty as he was.

“That’s Sara’s dog. Her nan’s dog. She asked me to look after her until she finds someone who can adopt her.”

“Oh,” Phil said and deflated a little. He looked down at Ivy and smiled.

Ivy had just finished her share of the food and decided to lie down right next to the cat. Phil ruffled her head. “And what is your name?”

“It’s Ivy,” Dan said. “So, can you please tell me why there is a stray cat in our kitchen?”

“It’s not a stray cat,” Phil protested.

“It’s a cat that followed you into the flat, so I presume it came from outdoors.”

“It’s far to clean and friendly to be a stray cat,” Phil pointed out, and Dan had to concede that he did have a point.

“Alright, but that means that it already belongs to someone. We can’t keep a cat that belongs to someone.”

“But he followed me and wouldn’t leave me alone!”

Dan arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Phil looked down at the cat sheepishly. It had finished its food, too, and was now carefully licking its paw.

Phil sighed. “I went down to the shops to get something for dinner, and I met this little guy.” Phil smiled down at the cat and started petting it. “I gave him a little stroke and when I walked away, he just followed me. He actually followed me inside the building.”

“Why did you let it inside?”

“Him,” Phil corrected, “He seemed so determined to get inside that I thought that he lived here.”

Dan groaned and put his face in his hands. He really couldn’t believe his friend sometimes. “And why then did you let him inside our apartment?”

“I told you, he followed me! I closed the door before he could enter, but then he started mewling like mad and I didn’t want the neighbours to think I was torturing kittens, so I let him in, and then he seemed fine.”

Ivy was looking rather enviously at the cat and Phil. She suddenly flung herself on her back to expose her belly for Phil to rub. Phil’s grin turned even wider and he started rubbing her belly with his other hand.

Dan looked down at the scene in front of him, lost for words. He watched for several minutes, Ivy wildly flapping her tail and the cat purring before he spoke up again.

“How do you know it’s a tomcat?”

Phil raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly from Dan to the cat, who had his tail in the air and nuzzled Phil’s knee. Dan was suddenly very aware that this cat wasn’t neutered. Well, it was hardly a thing – two things – one could easily overlook.

“Intuition,” Phil said with an eye roll and sneezed.

“Holy crap, Phil, your eyes!”

Phil looked up at Dan, and of course his eyes were all red and puffy and watery.

“In fine, really,” Phil said and sneezed again.

“The fuck you are,” Dan said and yanked Phil’s hand away from the cat. The cat glared up at Dan. “Next thing I know is I have to call the ambulance because your throat closed up or some shit like that. We are getting rid of the cat right now.”

“But we can’t throw Sammy out!” Phil exclaimed and threw his arms protectively around the cat. “It’s dark and dangerous and cold and he could be eaten by a fox!”

“I think that this cat already ate two foxes,” Dan said through gritted teeth. He could swear that the cat gave him a smug look before mewling pitifully in Phil’s arms.

“Look how scared Sammy is!” Phil said and hugged the cat tightly, sneezing twice in the process. Ivy had jumped up as well and ran around anxiously.

“You can’t just name cats that don’t belong to you!” Dan said, stomping his foot. Phil really could be as stubborn as a child, and he hated it when he started to get angry like a child in return. “You are allergic to cats, if I may remind you!”

“I got some anti-allergy tablets, I’ll be fine.” Phil looked up at Dan, his arms around both cat and dog and his watery eyes huge. “Please?”

The animals looked up, too, their eyes just as big. They seemed to sense that everything depended on Dan.

Dan looked from Phil’s red and puffy eyes to Ivy’s little button eyes, to Sammy’s huge yellow ones. This was just too much for him. Three pairs of puppy dog eyes – even though two of said pairs didn’t even belong to dogs – were just too much for him.

Dan silently cursed Phil and his huge eyes. And Ivy and her cute eyes. And Sammy and his unsettling ones.

He sighed heavily. “Fine,” he said. “We keep the cat as long as those pills work. And we have to make an effort to find the actual owner.” He gave Phil a stern look. “Now go and take your stupid pills.”

Phil jumped up and gave a small exclamation of joy. Ivy barked and sprang around Phil like he just invited her to a game of catch.

“Alrighty, Danny boy!” he said and sprinted out of the kitchen.

“Don’t call me Danny boy,” Dan muttered and stooped to retrieve the empty bowl and tin from the floor.

Sammy sat there on the floor, imperiously looking up at Dan. He instantly felt a lot smaller than the tiny creature in front of him. Ivy realized that it wasn’t time to play after all and went to sit next to Sammy, looking up at Dan expectantly.

“This is going to be so much fun.”


	2. The Walking Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Ivy go for a late night walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

It was already dark, and Dan would have much rather stayed inside and catch up on some YouTube videos than leave the house again. When he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he went out more than once in one day – and voluntarily at that.

He looked down at Ivy happily trotting next to him. Her tongue was hanging out of her mouth, her tail wagging in sync with her every step. She seemed more than happy to be able to have a late night walk through the mostly empty streets of London. Dan slung the end of the leash around his wrist and put both his hands into his hoody pocket. He shivered. He probably should have put on a coat; it was still January after all.

Dan had told Phil to stay at home with the cat, even though Phil would have been happy to accompany them; but Dan still didn’t trust this cat – Sammy, he corrected himself – and had managed to convince Phil that Sammy would feel lonely if he left, too. And besides, they’d just walk around the block and be back in no time.

That had been Dan’s intention. He didn’t relish being out for longer than he had to. But when he stepped outside the building, Ivy jumping around his feet in a frenzy, he didn’t have the heart to deprive the poor dog of a proper walk. She probably needed to burn some of that energy. Dan didn’t really want to think about her running around all night, keeping everyone awake. Sara had mentioned something like that.

So Dan and Ivy were walking down the street, the streetlamps bathing them in an orange glow. The air was cold, puffing out in little clouds every time Dan and Ivy breathed out. Even though Dan really wished he had brought his coat, he also somehow relished in the feeling of this late winter evening. The area he and Phil lived in wasn’t exactly cut off from the rest of London, but it was a lot quieter, and Dan enjoyed the emptiness around him.

Ivy seemed to like this, too; she occasionally stopped at a corner, or an interesting looking fence, and sniffed her way through her new surroundings. Dan felt for the little box he had clipped to his belt loops before he left the house. He hadn’t had to pick up dog droppings for ages. He had to admit he didn’t miss it.

They turned a corner and Dan wanted to instantly turn around again. An old man was walking down the same side of the road as Dan and Ivy, and by his side was a rather impressively large Labrador. Dan didn’t know how Ivy reacted to other dogs, and he really didn’t want to test it right now. He thought about changing sides before Ivy or the Labrador could do something stupid, but it was already too late.

Ivy had spotted the other dog and immediately tried to run over to it. Dan was momentarily yanked forward by the sudden motion and stumbled a few steps forward.

“Ivy, no!” he hissed and tried to real her back in. She didn’t listen but stared at the dog in front of her, who had pricked up his ears inquisitively. The old man smiled at Dan. Dan felt his cheeks turn pink with embarrassment.

“Ivy, come on!” he said again. The man looked down at Ivy, then actually loosened the grip on his dog’s leash. Dan held his breath as the Labrador slowly approached Ivy. Her tail twitched, her nose quivered. When the other dog was near enough they sniffed each other carefully. And then, without warning, both dogs wagged their tails and continued on their way.

Dan hastened after Ivy, giving the old man an apologetic look, but the other just smiled and nodded a greeting before he and his dog vanished around the corner.

Ivy seemed even more cheerful after this encounter, and somehow Dan felt uplifted as well. He walked down the street more confidently, his steps almost a bit too fast for the little creature next to him. Ivy didn’t seem to mind. She was determined to keep up with him, her little feet almost flying over the cold cobblestones. Dan hoped she didn’t mind the cold that much.

At the end of the street Dan could see the little gate that led into a miniscule park. Dan had never entered it before; but he thought that Ivy might enjoy it more than the cold streets, so he walked straight for the entrance.

It really was tiny. They could probably walk around it in less than five minutes, but it was better than nothing. Maybe they could come back tomorrow and play some catch. But for now, Ivy was happy enough to sniff out the bushes and tufts of leftover grass and mark her territory. Well, at least for as long as she lived here she could own it.

Dan hadn’t really thought about the fact that it was Friday. And Friday evenings, even when they were cold and dark and uninviting for the more sensible part of humankind, always seemed to draw the bullies and hooligans out of their hiding places. And cold, deserted parks were especially inviting.

That was why Dan wasn’t all too surprised when he saw them loitering on the only bench in the park. There were two of them; they were both shorter than Dan, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t topple him over if they wanted to. When Dan and Ivy approached them – the narrow path didn’t give them any choice – Dan was determined to just ignore them. Don’t give them any reason to get aggressive. From the corner of his eyes, he could see the smirk on the blond one’s face. He tensed, but didn’t stop in his tracks. Turning around was not an option.

He could suddenly feel Ivy’s warmth seeping through his jeans on his left leg. At least he wasn’t alone.

The two guys were sniggering about something. Dan wanted to cower in on himself, but he made an effort to straighten up and make the most of his height advantage.

Dan and Ivy passed them, without anyone doing or saying anything. Dan could feel their eyes bore into the back of his head, but he didn’t care. He and Ivy would be around the corner in a second, and then…

“That dog is really gay,” one of them said. The other guffawed.

“Yeah, it’s so gay!” the other said.

Some part of Dan had hoped that they would have at least come up with something more original or at least actually funny, because that wasn’t in insult. Nevertheless, he wavered in his steps, and then it happened.

Ivy had suddenly turned around, growling at the two guys. Dan turned around in surprise. The two guys laughed even harder.

Dan looked between the tiny dog at his feet, teeth bared and looking fierce, to the two guys laughing so hard they had to hold their bellies.

“Oh no, did we insult the little mutt of Mister Gaylord?” the blonde one said between laughs.

“Ivy,” Dan hissed, tugging at the leash. He just wanted to get out of here.

“Lord of the gays!” the other hollered.

For that split second that Dan wondered whether ‘Gaylord’ was still thing, Ivy had somehow managed to wriggle out of her collar and ran full speed at the two guys in front of her, barking like mad.

The smiles were wiped away from the two guys faces immediately; the one that hadn’t been sitting on the bench jumped onto it.

“What the fuck?” the blond one shouted and made a swishing motion with his hand. “Fuck off!”

Dan’s mouth was hanging open in astonishment. He wasn’t able to do anything before Ivy reached the bench and snatch at the dirty trainers of the guys.

The blond one gave a very unmanly squeal and jumped off the bench, running as if the devil was behind him. The other followed, stumbling over his own feet and almost landing in one of the leafless bushes. Ivy ran after them, barking and barking until they rounded the corner.

She came to a stop before she could leave Dan’s field of view, gave another few angry barks, as if to say, “And don’t you dare come back!” then turned around and walked back to where Dan stood, her tail wagging.

Dan stared, still opened-mouthed, at the little white fluff ball. Ivy came to a stop right in front of him, sat on the ground, and looked up at him expectantly.

Dan looked between the bench and Ivy, then burst into laughter. He laughed so hard that tears were rolling down his face.

“Bad, Ivy, bad!” he said, smiling from ear to ear and wiping at his face. “We don’t chase strangers!”

Ivy didn’t interpret Dan’s scolding as an actual warning, and flung herself on her back.

“Wow, you really want me to rub your belly when you’ve actually been a naughty girl?” he said. She wagged her tail more vigorously. He kneeled down to oblige her.

Even though he knew he should not praise her, he couldn’t help the pride swelling up in his chest. And maybe something else.

He smiled down at Ivy and gave her fluffy head one last rub before he reached for the collar. Ivy sat up again and didn’t make a fuss when Dan put it on again.

“Alright, let’s go home and tell Phil about this. He’ll be so jealous he wasn’t around to see this.”

“Arf!” said Ivy, and took off towards home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHE PROTEC
> 
> BUT SHE ALSO ATTAC


	3. The Bacon Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a restless night with an anoying cat, Phil needs some bacon for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

Phil walked down the stairs, trying to suppress a yawn and scratching through his sleep-ruffled hair. Last night had not been quiet at all.

Sammy had tried to climb into his bed several times. Even though Phil was relatively fine around Sammy when he had popped an allergy pill, he thought sleeping in one bed would probably be overkill. It hurt him to kick Sammy out the first time, and maybe the second; but the third time he had actually considered throwing him out of the flat altogether.

The funny thing was, Phil didn’t mind Sammy sleeping in the same room; he had actually prepared a lovely bed with some spare cushions and a blanket to make it as comfortable as possible. However, Sammy apparently didn’t think it was good enough for him.

“Whoa!” Phil woke with a start that first time, staring up at the cat cowering down on his stomach. Sammy looked back at him with big, sad eyes that almost glowed in the dark. Phil sighed.

“No, Sammy, you have your own bed.” He gently took Sammy into his arms and walked him over to his pillow kingdom.

“I really wouldn’t mind you sleeping in my bed if I weren’t so damn allergic to cats,” he said and placed Sammy on one of the fluffier cushions. Sammy mewled and looked up at him pitifully. At that point Phil really thought to just fuck it and let Sammy sleep with him, but he also didn’t want to choke to death.

“Sorry,” he said instead and patted Sammy’s head, then went back to bed.

The second time Sammy landed on his legs when Phil was already fast asleep. Phil brought him back to the cushions and patted him again.

The third time Phil had fallen asleep again, dreaming of having pancakes with a giant squid who tried to wriggle Phil’s nose with one of his tentacles. He woke up and realized that Sammy had landed directly on his face.

“For fucks sake that’s enough!” Phil grabbed Sammy and threw him out into the corridor. He really did want to have some sleep that night.

Sammy, however, didn’t like to be outside at all. He howled. Phil didn’t know cats could howl like that.

“God damnit!” Phil hissed when he eventually let Sammy back into his bedroom. “Don’t you dare wake up Dan!” Sammy pushed past Phil back into the bedroom and straight to his makeshift bed.

Phil had went back to bed, cursing under his breath. He didn’t sleep well after that. He expected Sammy to have another try. That didn’t happen, though; Sammy had slept peacefully, while Phil had woken up what felt like twenty times, checking on the cat and the status of his own bed.

So it was no surprise that Phil was tired as heck and that he was awake earlier than usual. Sammy hadn’t even stirred when Phil had decided, after a lot of tossing and turning, to get up and make some breakfast.

He walked into the kitchen. The tiles were cold even under his socked feet. He thought that maybe he should get some slippers like Dan, too. Their new flat really was colder than their old one.

He walked over to the fridge, opened it and stared inside. His eyes lit up. “Oh, hello Mr Bacon,” he said and pulled the packet of bacon from the top shelf. He almost always ate cereal for breakfast, but today he felt like he really needed something more filling.

As he was rummaging through one of the cupboards in search of the pan, he heard the faint dangling sound of keys, then the front door opened and closed. Phil froze mid-rummaging.

“Dan?” he said, walking over to the kitchen door and peering out of it.

“Yeah?” Dan said from somewhere down the stairs. He sounded slightly out of breath. Phil could also hear the tiny clicking sounds that Ivy’s paws made on the floor. Before he knew it, she had run up the stairs and skittered to a halt right in front of him, greeting Phil with a happy bark.

“Good morning Ivy!” Phil said happily and sat down on the floor to ruffle her head.

Dan had followed Ivy up the stairs. He was fully dressed, and his ears and cheeks were slightly pink from the cold air outside.

“You’ve already been outside?” Phil said with an air of disbelieve. “Since when have you been awake?”

“A while,” Dan said, taking his phone out of his pocket. “She woke me up and I thought I might as well take her for a walk.”

“But I thought we would go together!” Phil said with a pout. He really had been looking forward to going for a walk with Ivy.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Well, you’ve still been fast asleep and Ivy really needed to pee. I opted for not having her soil my bed and deal with your wrath instead.”

“Ha-ha,” Phil said and rolled his eyes. “But honestly, I want to come along next time.”

“Which will probably be before lunch, so soon enough,” Dan said, scrolling through his phone.

“Daw, you are such a big responsibility,” Phil cooed and ruffled Ivy’s head until she flung herself on her back so he could rub her belly. “Have you eaten yet?”

“She had some of that stuff Sara gave me,” Dan said, putting away his phone again.

“I was actually talking to you,” Phil said, letting go of Ivy and stood up. “I’m making bacon, do you want some?”

Dan’s eyes lit up at that. “Yes, please!”

At the exact moment when Phil wanted to turn around and walk back into the kitchen, Sammy jumped down the stairs and right between Dan and Phil.

Dan stared down at Sammy. Sammy stared back. Phil could see the mutual distrust; but then Sammy began to purr and nuzzle around Dan’s ankles. That actually elicited a small smile from Dan, and he kneeled to stroke Sammy’s head. Phil couldn’t help but smile as well.

“Good morning,” Dan said. Sammy gave a small meow, then turned his attention on Ivy, who had shuffled up beside him.

Ivy sat down patiently as Sammy nuzzled her head and licked her ears. It was too adorable.

“I think I might just die of cute overload,” Phil said and theatrically swayed and put his hand over his heart. Dan did the same, swaying dramatically and letting himself land on his ass.

“I think I might just watch them all day,” Dan said, putting his chin on his hand, gazing at the two pets like a love-struck idiot.

“And I thought you didn’t like Sammy,” Phil teased.

“I didn’t say that,” Dan said, not averting his gaze. “I just said I don’t trust this cat. I still don’t. Doesn’t mean he isn’t cute, though. But I think the feeling is mutual.”

“You think Sammy thinks you’re cute?”

“Of course he does. I’m the Cute Overlord,” Dan said airily. Phil snorted.

When Ivy tried to lick Sammy’s ears, the latter apparently decided he had enough cuddling for the time being and trotted into the living room.

“Could you let him out on the balcony? I bet he needs his litter box,” Phil said and turned around to finally start on the breakfast.

“Sure, sure,” Dan said and stood up. “We should get a proper box, though. Your ‘litter in a cardboard box’-construction isn’t the best thing and won’t hold forever.”

“Yeah yeah,” Phil said absentmindedly while putting the pan on the stove.

Ivy had shuffled over, looking up at him with interest. When Phil pulled one strip of bacon out of the package she stood up on her hind legs, her paws on his knee.

Phil laughed and let the bacon slide into the pan. “That’s not for you, Ivy,” he said and extracted another strip of bacon. Ivy’s tail wagged excitedly, her tiny black eyes fixated on the bacon.

Phil put the rest of the bacon into the pan, then gave Ivy a stern look. “No,” he said simply, and she dejectedly sat back down on the floor.

She didn’t seem to want to leave Phil to his cooking, tough. Phil didn’t mind. He liked her company. While the bacon was sizzling away in the pan, filling the kitchen with the most delicious smell, Phil put on the kettle. He hummed the theme tune to _Friends_ while he fetched cups, teabags and plates. Ivy followed him throughout the kitchen, and Phil imagined that she catalogued every bit of cupboard that might hold some treats for her.

He patted her head before he quickly turned over the bacon and fetched some toast and butter. They didn’t have any eggs or beans to go with the bacon, but Phil thought bacon on toast would be just as delicious.

His mouth watered when he picked up the finished bacon and placed an even amount on the two plates sitting right next to the stove. Just when he turned off the stove and placed the pan back on it to cool down, Ivy suddenly barked. He looked down in confusion.

Ivy was standing right next to him, barking like her life depended on it. Phil raised an eyebrow and kneeled down to give her a soothing pat on the back.

“Hey, girl, what’s wrong?” he said, stroking her back. She placed her front paws on his knees, giving his face one good lick.

“Ew, no, Ivy, stop!” Phil laughed and shoved her down. “Don’t lick my face, silly!”

Ivy wasn’t deterred by that and put her paws back on his knees and tried to lick his face again. Phil laughed and ruffled her head. “Are you trying to give me kisses?” he cooed, bringing up both hands to tug them through her soft fur. Gosh, this dog was so adorable.

“We can have cuddles later, my bacon is getting cold,” he said and let go of Ivy.

But when he stood up to get the plates, he noticed that they were completely empty. Phil furrowed his brow. He was sure he had already put the bacon on the plates. He looked back into the pan, which was empty, too. He turned around to look behind him on the counter, but there were only the two cups of tea and the toast and butter. He turned around in a circle, but he couldn’t see the bacon anywhere.

“Ivy, can you see my...” Phil began, but when he looked down to where Ivy had been, she had vanished.

And that was when he heard an ominous crunching sound from the other side of the kitchen island.

In one quick motion he stepped around the island and his jaw dropped at the sight.

There they sat, the two culprits, munching away on _his_ bacon. Sammy gave Phil a cursory glance and put one paw on his stack of bacon protectively. Ivy stood right next to him, the end of a strip of bacon hanging out of her mouth. She actually looked guilty, but didn’t stop chewing on her loot.

“My bacon!” Phil exclaimed and threw his hands in the air. “My bacon!” he repeated and gave a howling sob. He had _really_ been looking forward to that bacon.

“What the hell is going on?” Dan said when he entered the kitchen.

All three turned around to look at Dan. Phil let his arms fall to his side in defeat. Dan’s jaw dropped when he saw their pets sitting on the kitchen floor, eating his and Phil’s bacon.

“Why did you give them the bacon?” Dan said and walked up to the crime scene.

“You honestly think I would do that?” Phil said, glaring at Dan. As if Phil would actually just give his food to the dog. And cat. _His_ bacon. That he really wanted to eat. It was _his damn bacon_. “They stole it!”

Phil looked back at the two thieves to his feet. Ivy had finished her bacon and bent down to retrieve another one from under Sammy’s paws. Sammy, on the other hand, looked up at Phil with his big eyes, his head cocked to the side.

Phil’s eyes narrowed. “Wait, did Ivy just lick my face to distract me from you,” he pointed an accusing finger at Sammy, “so you could steal the bacon from the plates?”

Sammy blinked at him, once, twice, then inclined his head and reached for some bacon. Phil’s mouth opened and closed, but he just didn’t know what to say to this blatant admission of guilt. He could basically read it in Sammy’s eyes, and Sammy wasn’t even ashamed!

“Bad cat! Bad! Cat!” he said, glaring down at Sammy. From the corner of his eyes he could see Dan shake his head in disbelief.

Both Dan and Phil stared down at Ivy and Sammy, and both wore the same angry expression. Ivy’s eyes switched between Phil and Dan; Sammy ignored both of them.

Then Ivy walked over to Dan and spit her half chewed bacon to his feet. She sat in front of him and looked up with big eyes. Sammy, who sat right at Phil’s feet, flicked the last strip of bacon with his paw to Phil’s feet, and looked up at him expectantly.

“Is that your way to say sorry?” Dan said down to Ivy. She cocked her head at him.

Dan caught Phil’s eye. Then they both burst into hysterical laughter.

“Keep it,” Phil brought our between laughs, steading himself on the kitchen island. “I don’t want floor bacon with a sprinkle of cat hair.” He shoved the bacon back over to Sammy with his foot. Sammy didn’t miss a beat and bit into the bacon.

“And I don’t really like dog saliva,” Dan said and pushed the half-eaten bacon back to Ivy, who happily picked it up and finished it in one big bite.

Dan smiled down at Ivy and shook his head. “I think we have to really guard our food from now on.”

“Yeah,” Phil said and looked back down at the pets. He was still annoyed, but somehow this whole thing was so bizarre that he couldn’t help but love both Sammy and Ivy a bit more. He did, however, plan to not let this happen again.

When his stomach gave an audible growl, Dan smirked and walked over to one of the cabinets.

“Well, I guess that means it’s cereals for us,” he said and peered into the cupboard. Phil walked over to another to get the bowls.

“We only have Shreddies left,” Dan said, his voice muffled.

Phil heaved a heavy sigh. Maybe he didn’t like Sammy and Ivy that much after all.


	4. The Sofa Debacle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan believes neither cats nor dogs belong on the sofa.

Dan had just put his keys down when his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and furrowed his brow. Who would call him at this hour? More to the point, who was using phones to _actually call_ someone instead of just texting?

When he saw Sara’s name flash on the display, he laughed. She was that kind of person who believed in ‘real interactions’ instead of ‘unpersonal written messages.’ Phil peered up at Dan from his crouch on the floor where he had just freed Ivy from her collar.

“Hi Sara,” Dan said, both to greet her and let Phil know who he was talking to. “How are you?”

“Hey Dan. I’m fine. All is well. How’s Ivy?”

Dan laughed. “Not beating around the bush, are you?”

“You know me well,” she said, but there was a hint of anxiety in her voice, too. “Is she behaving herself?”

Dan went over to the stairs to sit and take off his shoes. When he sat down, Sammy flitted past him and straight over to where Phil and Ivy were sat on the floor.

“Ivy’s fine. We’ve just come home from a walk. Did you know that she can catch a ball in mid-air?”

“I did,” Sara said, and Dan could hear the smile in her voice. “I think I was the one who taught her that.”

“It’s brilliant. I think Phil might have tired her out a bit, though,” Dan said, peering over at Ivy, who did seem a bit less energetic than usual. She just sat there, letting Phil and Sammy pet her however they liked.

“I hope Phil doesn’t mind too much...” Sara began, but Dan cut her right off. “He doesn’t, so don’t worry. In fact, he brought a pet of his own.”

“He did?”

“Yeah,” Dan said and looked over at Sammy, who just got his ears scratched by Phil. “He brought a cat.”

“I thought he was allergic to cats?”

“He is. But this cat –”

“Sammy!” Phil said from the other side of the hallway.

“– Sammy. Don’t listen in, Phil!” Phil just stuck out his tongue and stood up. At the other end of the line, Sara chuckled.

“Anyway, Sammy is our second temporary pet, because he followed Phil into our flat and won’t leave.”

“What do you mean he followed Phil?”

Dan shrugged, even though he knew Sara couldn’t actually see him. “Well, you know how it is with Phil. He encounters one weird animal a week, and Sammy is the weird pet of the week.”

“Sammy isn’t weird,” Phil said when he squeezed past Dan up the stairs, closely followed by Ivy and Sammy.

Dan rolled his eyes at him. Sara guffawed. “If I hadn’t met Phil myself I wouldn’t believe you,” she said between laughs.

“I know! I think his followers still don’t really believe the stories he tells sometimes. But they are all true!” Dan laughed.

There was a pause when they both stopped laughing. When Sara spoke up, there was this tension in her voice again.

“Do they get along? Sammy and Ivy?”

“Like a house on fire,” Dan said. “They are inseparable. In fact, together they are like Pinky and the Brain. They stole our bacon from right under Phil’s nose this morning.”

“Dan, I’m so sorry-”

“Sara, don’t apologize. And stop worrying. I said I’d look after Ivy, and that’s what I’m going to do until you don’t need me to anymore.”

Dan could hear Sara exhale in relief. “Thank you. Honestly, you’re doing me a big favour.”

“It’s fine, really. Actually, it’s been real fun with them around.” Dan smiled when he thought of the first walk he had with Ivy yesterday, and began to recount the whole incident.

“Oh, poor Ivy, she’s already protective of you!” Sara said. “I think she will be very sad when she has to leave you eventually.”

Dan didn’t say anything to that. He didn’t really know how he felt about that. “Speaking of which, have you had any luck already?” he said instead.

“Well, not that quickly, obviously,” Sara said with a sigh. “I posted on Facebook and Gumtree, and I’m going to call our local animal shelter for advice.”

Dan nodded. Then he remembered that Sara couldn’t see his face. “I see.”

They were silent for a moment. Dan couldn’t really shake the feeling that something was still bothering Sara, but he wasn’t exactly sure what it was.

“Do you need help with the search?”

“God no, you are already doing way too much,” she said.

“Okay,” Dan said.

“Alright, gotta go. I just wanted to make sure everything’s fine. And if you can’t take care of her anymore –”

“Which won’t happen,” Dan interjected.

“– but just in case, call me and I’ll figure it out.”

Dan gave a very theatrical heavy sigh. “Sara, I said it’s fine, how many times do I have to repeat myself?”

Sara mumbled something akin to an apology into the speaker.

“Well, you could come over and see her and Sammy if you want. I think she would be happy to see you again.”

“That’d be great,” Sara said, and some of the tension seemed to seep out of her.

After they said their goodbyes, Dan put his phone back in his pocket and stood up to go and find his flatmates. It was funny how much livelier the flat felt with two more occupants. Dan never thought that he would actually enjoy that.

He found Phil, Ivy and Sammy in the kitchen. Ivy and Sammy were sitting on the floor, munching on their dinner. Phil was leaning against the counter, scrolling through his phone and waiting for the kettle to boil. He had two mugs ready next to him.

“Thanks,” Dan said, leaning against the counter next to Phil. He looked down at Ivy and Sammy, watching how Sammy delicately licked his bowl clean, and how Ivy just slobbered everything up.

“Pizza for dinner?” Phil asked.

“Yes, please,” Dan said, and Phil immediately pulled up the app to order.

“So why did Sara call?” Phil asked when he poured the boiling water into the mugs.

“Making sure we didn’t mistreat Ivy,” Dan said and grabbed the Pixel-Phan mug. He didn’t really like the weird Lego mug.

When Phil looked up at him with concern, Dan just smiled and shook his head. “Na, I think she is just anxious that she just dumped her problem on us, that’s all.”

“But she does know that we don’t mind.”

Dan shrugged. “I told her over and over but I think she still thinks she roped me into it.”

“Well, she kinda did.”

“Kind of. But do you mind?”

“No,” Phil said without missing a beat.

They both looked down at Ivy and Sammy, who had just finished their dinner. Sammy was grooming himself, while Ivy just lay on the floor, looking completely knackered.

“I think you broke her,” Dan said.

“I hope not. But I kinda feel her,” Phil said and yawned. “I’m exhausted.”

Dan couldn’t help but yawn, too. “Yeah, it’s been ages I’ve been outside that often.”

Phil took out the teabag from his mug and grabbed some milk from the fridge. “How about a movie to go with the pizza?”

“Hell yeah,” Dan said and threw his own teabag in the bin.

They took their mugs and walked into the lounge, discussing movie options. For some reason, Phil really wanted to re-watch _Fantastic Beasts_ , and as Dan didn’t have any other suggestion they settled for that. Maybe it was because of their new pets, maybe it was because Dan needed more Harry Potter in his life, but he was actually excited to see this movie again, and he wasn’t usually that keen on watching certain movies over and over again.

Neither Ivy nor Sammy followed them. When they left them in the kitchen it seemed like they decided to take a nap right there on the kitchen floor, their eyes drooping sleepily. Since ‘The Bacon Incident,’ as they liked to dub it, they made sure that every piece of food was stashed away safely and every door to every room the two rascals shouldn’t enter was firmly closed; so Dan didn’t worry too much.

He and Phil sipped on their teas, watching Newt’s arrival in New York. Just when he stumbled across Tina, the bell rang. Phil jumped up from the sofa, almost splashing tea everywhere. Dan paused the movie and went to retrieve plates from the kitchen.

It was when the door shut closed again and Dan could hear Phil ascend the stairs that Ivy’s and Sammy’s ears pricked up. Dan shook his head at them as they both flew out of the kitchen. He followed, and surely they had run right into the lounge, their eyes fixed on Phil with the pizza cartons balancing on his right hand. With the other, he pointed a warning finger at Ivy and Sammy.

“This time there won’t be any food stealing,” he said in a stern voice. “This is _my_ pizza.”

Dan chuckled and sat back on the sofa. He passed a plate to Phil and grabbed one of the proffered pizza slices.

Sammy had apparently realized that this time there would not be any special treats, so he turned around and made himself comfortable on the rug in front of the telly. Ivy, who was still entranced by the smell of the pizza, remained seated at Phil’s feet, looking up at the pizza with big, hungry eyes.

“You just had dinner, now let us have ours,” Dan said and resumed the movie.

Hungry as they were, they polished off the pizzas pretty fast. As soon as the last piece was gone, Ivy hung her head and walked over to lie down next to Sammy.

Dan sat back with a contented sigh. He grabbed for one of the blankets and settled back into the sofa. Next to him, Phil folded his legs underneath himself, propping his chin on his hands.

Dan’s gaze wandered from the screen to Ivy and Sammy on the floor. They both hadn’t been in Dan and Phil’s life for long, but Dan couldn’t deny that it felt like they had been with them for a lot longer. Ivy was such a joy to have around; he would have never thought that he would look forward to going outside for a walk. He still didn’t like it that much – bless his minor agoraphobia – but with Ivy he felt safer out there. And for some reason, Dan even liked Sammy. He didn’t trust him; he stood by that. But something about that little bugger was just endearing.

He glanced at Sammy, who lay on his side facing the coffee table. His eyes were half closed. Dan couldn’t exactly hear him, but he was sure that Sammy was purring. Ivy was lying right next to him, her head resting between her paws on the floor. Her tail was wagging absentmindedly. Dan wondered whether it actually had a life of its own.

Dan glanced over to Phil and realized that he was watching the pets as well rather than the movie. His face had the same dopey expression he wore every time he lay his eyes on either Sammy or Ivy. Then Phil sneezed. And that reminded Dan.

“Say, Phil, have you thought about how to find Sammy’s owner?”

Phil flinched. “Not yet.”

Dan gave the side of Phil’s face a stern glance. He could tell that Phil knew he was looking at him but decided to ignore Dan. “And do you plan to make an effort?”

Phil didn’t say anything but pulled his phone put of his pocket. “Where did you say Sara’s looking for a new owner for Ivy?”

“Gumtree and Facebook won’t really help here,” Dan said and sighed. “You do know that we can’t keep him?”

Phil mumbled a ‘yes’ and scrolled through his phone.

“I mean, even if it weren’t for your allergy, we can’t keep a cat that doesn’t belong to us.”

Phil’s lip tightened into a thin line. Dan didn’t say anything. He looked back at the screen and tried to get back into the movie. When was it that Newt managed to catch that rhino-thing?

“We could take a photo and post it on twitter,” Phil said. “And I think we could ask the next animal shelter for help.”

“Isn’t there a notice board at the pet shop?” Dan said, remembering their trip there in the afternoon.

“That’s also an option,” Phil said, still not looking up from his phone. Dan looked back over to him. Phil did seem a little more tense than usual. “But I think twitter is our best option. I mean we don’t know whether his owners actually visit the same pet shop as us.”

“But we also don’t know whether they are on social media. So I guess we should try everything.”

Phil nodded. He was still staring at his phone. Dan sighed.

“Come on, Phil, we do have to say goodbye to both of them eventually.” At that Dan’s heart ached a bit. He didn’t really know how to convey this feeling, or that he understood how Phil felt, so he added clumsily, “I mean your allergy...”

“I hate my allergy.” Phil threw his phone on the coffee table with more force than necessary and sat back on the sofa, his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the screen in front of him.

Dan didn’t respond. Instead, he looked back at the telly, trying to follow the story again. Of course Phil hated being allergic to cats, but he had never really stressed over it. Everyone hit their breaking point at some point, and Phil’s breaking point was obviously Sammy.

They watched in silence for a while. Dan could literally feel the brooding waves emanating off Phil. He wanted to sigh and tell him that it was silly to stress over it, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Instead, Dan gave a little squeak when something heavy landed on his feet. Dan had his feet up on the sofa and whirled around to see Sammy standing there, sniffing around Dan’s feet. He was obviously in search of the perfect napping place.

“Sammy!” Dan said and shooed him away. “Get off the sofa!”

Next to Dan, Phil chuckled. “Oh come on Dan, he’s not doing anything.”

With a glare, Sammy jumped off the sofa and sat down next to Dan’s feet. He continued glaring up at him. Dan glared right back. “No,” he said to Sammy, then addressed Phil, “I don’t want to pick up cat hair from the sofa if he stays for longer. I mean, your allergy...”

“Yes, yes my fucking allergy, can we please stop talking about it?”

Dan’s eyes widened a bit at Phil’s cussing, but he quickly turned around to glare at Phil instead of Sammy. “We can stop talking about it but I think you should take it seriously, damnit.”

“I am taking it seriously! Why can’t you just stop mentioning it?”

“Because I don’t want to see you hospitalized because you choked on some cat hair!”

At that admission Phil’s face split into a grin. “Daw, does Danny actually care for his friend?”

Dan’s cheeks turned pink and he grabbed the nearest cushion, throwing it at Phil. “Shut up.”

Phil caught the cushion and laughed. “Aw, he does!”

Dan leaned back on the sofa and pointedly looked back at the screen. From the corners of his eyes he could see that Phil used the pillow to cushion his head on the wall behind the sofa.

They had settled back into the movie for about two minutes when suddenly Phil gave a squeal. Dan whipped his head around to see Ivy sitting on the small space of empty sofa next to Phil.

“Ivy, no!” Dan said and swished his hand around. “Get off the sofa!”

Phil raised an eyebrow at him. “Come on Dan, it’s not like I’m allergic to her.”

Dan scooped closer to Phil, reached over his lap and shoved at Ivy. She jumped down obediently but remained seated at Phil’s feet. “Maybe you’re not allergic to her, but dogs don’t belong on the sofa.”

“Says who?”

Dan actually had to think for a moment before he responded. “My mum.”

“But she isn’t here and this is our flat.”

Dan sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, but still. Try getting dog hair out of the furniture. Just as hellish as cat hair.”

Phil rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else.

Dan really didn’t know how much of the movie he actually saw. They were nearing the end, that was for sure. Dan felt his eyes go heavy; he had been up for a long time, and he wasn’t used to being out that much. That and the pizza made him sleepy. It had been a long day, really.

It was right when that big bird – Dan just couldn’t remember the name – flew into the sky to release the potion into the air, when Sammy jumped on his lap. This time, he didn’t flinch. Dan looked down at the cat, the challenge clear in the yellow eyes.

“Just leave it, Dan,” Phil said. Dan looked over at him and saw that Ivy had jumped on Phil’s lap. She had curled up on him, her head resting on his right knee. Phil was petting her absentmindedly.

Dan looked back down at Sammy, who was still standing on his lap. “Oh, what the hell,” he said. Sammy immediately plopped down and made himself comfortable.

Dan let his hand stroke over Sammy’s fur. He had always believed that cat’s fur was sort of bristly, but Sammy’s fur was so soft, softer than it looked. It didn’t take long for Sammy to start purring, and this time Dan could hear it clearly.

Sammy’s purrs reverberated through his whole body. Somehow, Dan felt soothed by it.

Just as Newt entered the ship, Dan could hear Phil softly breathe in his sleep; Dan’s eyes fell shut, too, and when the credits rolled, his head had fallen on Phil’s shoulder, and he was fast asleep.


	5. The YouTube Hack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil desperately tries to do a live show while his two pets desperately try to get some cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back after a massive writer's block with a long one this time, with loads of domestic Dan and Phil!
> 
> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

Phil woke up to the odd feeling of something warm and wet weighing down on his right shoulder. When he shifted and grunted to get rid of it, Ivy yelped and jumped out of his lap, and Phil jolted into full alert.

He found that the oddly warm thing on his shoulder had been Dan, who was now looking around in alarm. His hair was sticking up on one side, and his eyes were unfocused.

Phil’s shoulder was still wet, so he brought up a hand to feel the wet patch there. Phil then realized that Dan had drooled on his shirt.

“Eww, Dan!” Phil said and wiped his hand on Dan’s trouser leg.

Dan looked down at his leg, then up at Phil. “What?”

“You drooled all over my shirt!” Phil said and pointed at the wet patch on his sleeve.

Dan’s eyes lingered on said spot. “What?” he said. He was definitely still not fully awake.

Phil rolled his eyes and stood up. His legs creaked and the joints in his hips popped when he shifted his weight. Phil winced. He looked at the clock on the wall and realized that he had managed to sleep for about three hours in an upright position with his legs tucked beneath him. He was definitely too old to do this anymore.

Ivy was lying at Phil’s feet, curled up like a small fluffy croissant. Her eyes twinkled up at him.

Phil turned around. Dan was still looking a bit dazed. He pushed a hand through his hair and looked up at Phil. “Did we fall asleep during the movie?”

“Apparently,” Phil said and tucked his shirt over his head. “And you drooled all over my shirt.”

He presented the shirt to Dan, who looked appalled. “I did not drool.”

“Yes you did,” Phil said and flung his shirt into Dan’s face. “You can wash that for me. I’m going to bed.”

Phil turned on the spot and walked out of the lounge. He could hear Dan protest, but he really didn’t care. He just wanted to sleep in his own bed.

The door to his room was ajar, just as he had left it, and of course Sammy was lying sprawled across his sheets. Phil turned on the lights and raised an eyebrow at him. Sammy raised his head sleepily.

“Don’t make me kick you out for good,” Phil said. Sammy stared; then, with a mammoth effort, stretched, stood up, and slowly walked over to his cushion bed. Phil gave him an approving nod. “Good boy.”

*

The following morning Dan had decided to completely ignore Phil. He was definitely still embarrassed by the drooling incident. Phil was sure of it. Of course he was a good friend and decided to give Dan the space he needed to cool down again, even though that meant that he, again, couldn’t come along for Ivy’s morning walk. Instead, Phil made a point of feeding Sammy and watching him until he finished, then giving him the biggest cuddles he had ever received. Sammy was all about the food, but he did not really appreciate Phil trying to massage his ears, and bolted out of the kitchen.

Phil was a bit disappointed that even Sammy was now ignoring him. He sighed and walked over to the coffee machine. He made enough for two cups, but poured only one for himself. If Dan came home before it went cold, fine. If not, Dan could at least not call him a bad flatmate.

Phil decided to spent the morning scrolling through his Tumblr feed and working on some video ideas. His channel was about to turn twelve – they grow up so fast! – and he wanted to do something special for it. He just wasn’t really sure what. It wasn’t a big anniversary like ten years. But still. He tapped his finger against the side of his laptop, deep in thought. Maybe something that included his subscribers? They were the reason he was here now after all.

That was when it knocked on the door. Phil’s eyes snapped up. “Yeah?”

Dan poked his head inside. “Hey, you up for some lunch? I made a salad.”

Phil quickly looked at his phone. He had been holed up in his room for hours. His stomach gave an audible rumble and he nodded eagerly.

Dan grinned. “By the way, Sara’s coming over at around four. Thought you might want to know.”

With that, Dan was gone again.

Phil looked down at himself. He was still in his pyjamas. He thought that he should maybe get dressed before Sara got here. But that could wait until after lunch.

He shut his laptop closed and hopped off the bed. He wasn’t really surprised that he found Sammy waiting at the door for him. He looked just as hungry as Phil felt. 

Phil gave Sammy a few pats on the head before he rushed into the kitchen to grab some food. Dan had left him a bowl full of the salad of the week on the kitchen island. Phil peered into the bowl; avocado, cress, sweetcorn and tomatoes. He was grateful that Dan had thought of him while making lunch, but Phil really didn’t like salads that much. But then again, Dan was making a point of eating well to improve his mental well-being, and Phil was wholeheartedly supporting his friend in that aspect. He grabbed the bowl and fished a fork out of the cabinets and went to join Dan in the living room. He could still secretly snack on some cereals later on.

Dan was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, watching one of Louise’s latest vlogs. Just when Phil entered there was a full-screen shot of Baby Pearl.

“Aww, she’s so tiny!” Phil exclaimed and flopped down on the sofa right next to Dan.

“How does something so small,” Dan said and indicated the screen, “turn into something so big?” He waved at himself with his fork. “It’s just ridiculous.”

Phil chuckled and they both settled to eat their lunch and watch the video. Phil was delighted to see that Ivy had taken up residency right in front of the telly, staring up at it as if in a trance. Phil found it so endearing that he just had to take a picture. Maybe he could DM it to Louise later.

After Phil had finished his bowl, Sammy had decided to take a nap on his lap, and Phil didn’t really object to that. He felt a bit sleepy, too; the avocado had stuffed him more than he would have thought.

“That little bugger is sleeping all the time,” Dan said and put his bowl and fork on the table. “He fell asleep on my feet this morning.”

Phil chuckled. “Well, at least he wasn’t drooling all over you.”

He wriggled his eyebrows at Dan, who rolled his eyes and gave him a wry smile. “You will never let me live this down, won’t you?”

“Nope,” Phil said.

Dan rolled his eyes again. “Whatever.”

He stood up and retrieved both bowls and forks and walked over to the door. “Just don’t let the internet know about this.”

“Oh no, I’m going to enjoy this all on my own,” Phil said and brought his hand up to pet Sammy. 

“I hate you,” Dan called from the hallway.

“No you don’t, you’re actually drooling all over me!” Phil called back and laughed so hard that Sammy woke up and jumped from his lap. 

Dan popped his head around the door and regarded Phil with a dark expression. “I’m actually considering homicide right now.”

Phil couldn’t help himself but laugh even harder at that. Dan’s face flinched with the hint of a smile, but he seemed determined to keep up the stony expression.

“If you want to come along for Ivy’s walk you may want to put on some pants.”

Phil was immediately on his feet and grabbed the remote to turn off the telly. “Give me a sec!” he said and hurried past Dan to his bedroom to get changed.

*

Phil had just reached inside the box of cereals when the doorbell rang. He quickly stuffed the cereals into his mouth and shoved the box back into the cabinet. He started to chew, but he had managed to take more than he could actually swallow. Phil winced and covered his mouth with his hands.

At his feet, Sammy was looking up at him with interest. Phil put a finger in front of his mouth, indicating that Sammy was not to tell Dan about this. But then again, Sammy was a cat, and couldn’t actually tell Dan anything. Sammy tilted his head.

The cereals were getting mushier, and Phil slowly chewed and swallowed. Gosh, that hurt. Maybe karma was a thing after all.

He sprinted to the door just as Dan closed it and gave Sara a hug in greeting. 

“Hi Sara,” Phil said and gave her a little wave.

She smiled back at him. “Hi Phil, how’re you doing?”

Phil was about to answer when a white fluff-ball flashed past him and came to a skittering halt right in front of Sara. 

“Ivy!” she squealed and kneeled to ruffle Ivy’s fur. “I haven’t seen you in ages! Have you been a good girl?”

Ivy could barely handle herself from all the excitement. Phil thought that her wagging tail would soon lift her off the ground. Phil had to admit that he felt a bit jealous of all the excited attention Sara got.

“Wow, I feel kinda jealous now,” Dan said, voicing what Phil had just thought. And just as if Ivy knew exactly what he had said, she disentangled herself from Sara’s grasp and turned around to Dan, jumping up and barking happily.

Dan looked a bit surprised, but bend down to pet her on the head. Ivy then turned and jumped over to Phil, barking at him as well. Phil petted her, too. Sara started to laughed when Ivy ran around in an excited circle between the three of them.

“Look how happy she is to have her pack assemble in one room!” she said and stood up. “I missed that little minx.”

After Sara had thoroughly squealed over Sammy, and after Dan had made some coffee and put some biscuits on the sitting room table, Ivy had finally calmed down enough to just sit at one end of the sofa and look up at all of them, her tail still wagging.

“So...” Dan began, wringing his hands in his lap. “Did you find anyone yet?”

Sara raised an eyebrow at him. “I did have an elderly couple ask about her.”

At that Phil tensed. Yes, he did know that Ivy was just a temporary guest and that they couldn’t possibly keep her. What would they do with her when they went on tour? They were both just too busy and out of town all the time to actually properly care for a dog. He knew that, he could be that rational. But there was still this tiny little voice in his head that just wanted to keep her forever. Her and Sammy. 

How did two pets who had been with them for just three days grow so much on him? Well, not only on him, as it seemed. It was plain that Dan was just as tense as Phil. 

Phil hadn’t realized that he had slightly bent towards Sara, waiting for her to finish her explanation. She looked at him oddly, then looked at Dan.

“But we all quickly agreed that Ivy is too young and energetic. She needs to be with someone who has both the time and energy to give her what she needs,” she said slowly. She picked up one of the biscuits. “Stop looking at me like that.”

Both Phil and Dan flinched and sat back again. Phil couldn’t suppress a grin when he realized that he and Dan had the same relieved expression on their faces. Sara looked between the both of them, thoughtfully chewing her biscuit

“That is sad news,” Phil said. He knew he didn’t sound sorry at all.

Sara shrugged. “There are many people who want a dog, but I’m picky. So I guess it’ll still take some time...“

“Let me stop you right there before you apologize again and just take another biscuit,” Dan said, took the biscuit plate and shoved it into her face. Sara grimaced at him, but obediently took another one.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop it. But please take these biscuits away from me.”

Dan pointedly placed the plate back on the table right in front of Sara. She gave him a look. Phil snorted, and snatched a biscuit for himself.

“So, where’s Hannah? I thought she might come along?” Phil asked, putting the whole biscuit into his mouth. He quickly realized that that had been a bad idea.

“Oh, well, busy as always!” Sara said brightly and shoved the last bit of biscuit into her mouth.

Before either Phil or Dan could say anything, she stood up. “Do you mind if I take Ivy for a walk?”

“Er, no, of course not,” Dan said, looking puzzled. “Do you want us to come along?“

Sara waved a hand at him dismissively. “No, I’m fine. Let me just get her out of your hair for an hour or so. It’s the least I can do.”

“You don’t...”

“But I want to,” she said, set down her half empty cup of coffee and rushed to the door. Ivy promptly followed her, japing excitedly.

“And I want to play Cards Against Humanity when I come back!” Sara called from the hallway.

Phil exchanged a confused look with Dan. Dan only shrugged, then stood up and followed Sara down to the hallway.

Phil looked into his own empty mug of coffee, then at Sara’s halfway finished one. He felt a bit sad that such a good cuppa should just go down the drain. He had the fleeting thought of just finishing the cup himself, but that seemed kinda weird. So he just gathered all the cups and carried them to the kitchen. Sammy appeared out of nowhere and was hot on Phil’s heels when he entered the kitchen.

“No snacks for you,” Phil said and put the cups into the dishwasher. Sammy just stared at him with big eyes. Phil immediately lost that battle.

“Okay,” he sighed, walking other to the fridge. “But don’t tell Dan.”

Sammy meowed, as if he had actually understood.

*

“Hey guys! Happy New Year!” Phil shouted and threw his hands in the air. “I know it’s almost February, but it’s never to late to start with your resolutions!”

The chat was exploding with greetings and other shout-outs from his viewers. Phil laughed when he caught someone write ‘Let’s hope it’ll be better than 2017.’

“Hello KatNoir, Pam, maureenwho – uh, hello Phil! My name twin!”

Sara had been out for more than an hour, and both Phil and Dan had felt a bit lost at what to do. They had eventually brainstormed some additional ideas for the tour before she had come back, flushed and with a worn-out Ivy in tow. They then had a lovely afternoon playing Cards Against Humanity (well, as lovely as it could be with a game such as this, and with someone like Dan who would pull all the registers just to win the game).

When Sara had left, Phil realized it was almost time for his live show. He snatched his laptop from the lounge and scrambled up to the office.

“I’m taking Ivy for a walk,” Dan had shouted up the stairs.

So here was Phil, rattling off as many names as he could because he really wanted to greet all of his viewers. Sometimes he wished there weren’t that many just so he could say hello to all of them.

Phil saw his own image on the screen and realized that his hair was a bit of a mess. He quickly ran his hand through his fringe and gave a sheepish smile.

“So, it’s the new year, guys! I can’t believe it’s already been 2018 for a month. Time just flew by, but I had a great break from everything. Well, not everything, I actually played Zelda for a week straight, and I’m still not through!“

Phil chatted along, about the game, and eventually about his Christmas holidays. He was just talking about that funny thing that had happened to Martyn when he thought he saw something move out of the corner of his eyes. He stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked over at the door. That was odd. He thought he had closed it earlier.

He looked back at the camera. “Oops, sorry, I thought I saw something move.”

He looked back at the door, then gave the camera an ominous look. “Maybe there actually was a ghost at my parent’s house and it followed me back home.”

Phil looked into the camera with big eyes and didn’t move. Then, he jumped and gave a shriek.

He laughed when the chat filled with comments like ‘OMG don’t scare me like that!’

“Sorry, I really had to do this. I won’t do it again, promise.”

And that was the exact moment when something hairy sprang on his lap.

Phil shrieked in earnest this time, almost throwing off the hairy thing. He looked down and saw Sammy look up at him reproachfully.

“What are you doing here?” he hissed down at the cat. Sammy meowed.

Phil looked back at the screen. Oh no. The chat had exploded. Everyone was typing so fast he couldn’t really read any comment properly.

“Er,” he began, waving away Sammy’s tail which had tickled him under his nose. “I can explain this.”

But Sammy didn’t want Phil to explain anything. He had apparently just decided to jump on Phil’s lap to get a closer look at the shiny white thing sitting in front of him. Sammy had turned around to face the laptop, sticking his tail right into Phil’s nose and started sniffing the screen. Phil wheezed and waved Sammy’s tail away.

“Sammy, no!” Phil hissed and grabbed the cat around the belly. Sammy mewled and waved a paw at him. Phil let go of him immediately, but gave him a stern look. Phil thought that if Sammy could have sighed in defeat, he would have done so.

He curled up in Phil’s lap and started purring. Phil rolled his eyes and gave him a pat on the head. “Good boy.”

It was then that Phil heard the front door shut and Ivy bark like a maniac. He could hear her paws clicking on the stairs. He looked back at the chat. Could his audience hear the mad barking, too?

“Okay, so, something weird happened the other day...”

Phil couldn’t finish his sentence because Ivy tumbled into the room and sprang at him and Sammy.

Phil almost tumbled off the bed, taking both Sammy and Ivy with him. Sammy hissed in annoyance and waved his claws at Ivy. She didn’t mind either that or Phil shouting for her to stop and tried to lick both Phil’s and Sammy's faces at the same time (which didn’t really work out). 

Phil tried to hold down Ivy and at the same time keep Sammy from scratching anyone’s eyes out, but it was really difficult when one could only see a flurry of orange and white fur.

“Dan!” he shouted. “Dan, I need your help!”

Dan came into the room faster than was humanly possible. Phil suspected he had watched from the door, because Dan was unsuccessfully trying to hold back a laugh. Dan grabbed Ivy and cradled her into his arms, waiting for her to calm down. Phil sat up, straightened his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. He looked down at himself and saw that he was completely covered in a mix of white and orange hairs. Great.

Sammy stood next to him, glaring up at Ivy. From Dan’s arms, Ivy gave a tiny huff of a bark.

“Brilliant,” Phil said and looked up at Dan. “I thought you were going for a walk with her.”

“We were outside. But it started raining so we came back early.” Dan gave a very telling side eye glance at the laptop. Oh.

Phil’s eyes snapped back at his laptop. The live show was still going, and the chat was still a complete mess. Phil could only make out individual words like ‘cute’ and ‘omg’ (the later being used way to often that day, he realized).

“Er,” Phil said, eloquently. He hadn’t really planed to bring up their new furry housemates like that. He and Dan hadn’t even decided if they would mention them at all.

Dan leaned into the field of view of the camera and gave his widest grin. “So this just happened.”

Phil sighed and scooted over for Dan to sit down next to him. Sammy had decided to climb back into Phil’s lap. Dan was still holding Ivy in his lap.

“So first of all, hi,” Dan said and waved at the camera. “And secondly, this isn’t what it looks like.”

Phil huffed. “You do know that when you say it like that, people will always assume the thing you don’t want them to assume.”

Dan scrunched up his nose. “And if your lovely viewers want to assume that we adopted a cat and a dog they are totally wrong. Because it just looks like it, but it isn’t true. Just because you see something doesn’t mean that it is true, because who is to say that we can actually trust our eyes...”

“Okay, before Dan starts to fall into a philosophical pit of despair I want to clarify that this is not our dog, and this is not our cat. They don’t belong to us.”

“Now it just sounds like we are kidnapping pets in our free time.”

Despite himself, Phil had to laugh. “No, we are definitely not cat- or dog-nappers. This cat,” Phil pointed at Sammy, who was snoozing with his eyes closed, “followed me home and refused to leave.”

Dan guffawed, and Ivy used the moment he loosened his grip to put her paws on his knees and lean over to lick Phil’s face. Phil shoved her away. “Eww, Ivy, no!”

“Seriously, she acts like she hasn’t seen you in ages,” Dan said and patted her head.

“Well, for some three minutes can be an eternity.”

“Just because you can’t wait for your popcorn to pop properly.”

“It’s just too long!”

Dan sighed. “Popcorn popping aside, I think you have to explain how you came to acquire a stray cat.” He indicated the chat, which was filled with various heart and either cat or dog emojis.

“Well, it’s just as I said,” Phil began. “I came back home the other day, and there was this cat just outside our house. I gave him a little pet and went inside, and he followed me. Right up to our front door! I thought he might belong to someone in the house, but then he didn’t stop mewling in front of our door and only stopped when I let him inside.”

“And this is how we got ourselves a cat that doesn’t belong to us.” Dan finished. “And here sits the living proof that the weirdest things only happen to this guy.”

Sammy didn’t acknowledge Dan’s pat on his head. Phil laughed and threw his hands in the air. “I can’t help it!”

“And just so you know, Phil called him Sammy but it is not his actual name.”

“But we don’t know his actual name and he seems to respond to this one.”

Both Dan and Phil looked at the chat. It was still difficult to make out any specific comment, but Dan was a veteran and was able to pick a few.

“‘He looks so soft’ Well, yes, I have to admit he is soft,” Dan said. Phil put his hand on Sammy’s back and let his hand linger there. He really did like Sammy’s fur. It felt calming, even though Sammy could give him literal jump scares sometimes.

“Laura says ‘You should have called him Garfield’,” Dan read.

“But I think he looks like a Sammy. And Garfield is a little heavier than this little fella.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Dan laughed and playfully slapped Phil on the shoulder.

Phil just rolled his eyes. “Kingtrash asks ‘Aren’t you allergic to cats?’ Yes, I still am, I get the sniffles, but I am taking allergy pills right now so I am fine.“

“He can’t take them forever, though, so Sammy cannot stay with us.”

Phil did feel a stinging feeling in his chest, but he chose to ignore it for now. He stroked Sammy’s back a bit more vigorously. He could feel Dan giving him a sideways glance, but he chose to ignore him, too.

“That is why we are trying to find Sammy’s actual parents so he can go back home. In the meantime, we’ll take good care of him,” Phil said. His smile was only half forced.

“I am going to tweet about him later, and it would be great if you could all share it so Sammy can go back home.”

Phil nodded along with Dan’s announcement and scanned the chat again. “‘You should keep him!’ I'm sorry, but he doesn’t belong to us and there is probably some very sad child somewhere who cries themself to sleep every night because their kitty isn’t there.”

Dan starred at him. “Well that escalated quickly.”

“It could be true!”

Ivy wriggled in Dan’s lap. This was obviously too boring for her. She sat up and put her paws on Phil’s laptop, inspecting the screen more closely.

“Ivy, no!” Dan said and pulled her away again. She had managed to just minimize the browser without actually closing it. Phil opened it again and of course now everyone was talking about ‘this white fluff-ball of a dawg’.

“‘GUYS THEY GOT A DOG FINALLY MY BOYS ARE PARENTS’,” Dan read and he and Phil laughed. “Sorry to disappoint you, but this is also not our dog.”

Ivy lay down across Dan’s lap and rested her head on his knee. Her face was level with Sammy’s, who was still snoozing away. Phil saw this from the corner of his eye; he was certain that any moment something was going to happen.

“This is Ivy,” Dan said and pointed at her, “and she is a friend’s dog. I said I’d look after her until my friend finds someone to adopt her, because she can’t take care of Ivy herself. I would put up an adoption search tweet, but my friend strictly told me that she was going to do this on her own.”

“Did she?”

“You were there! She was very vocal about it.”

Phil shrugged. He was pretty sure Sara never said any of that, but he knew it was probably for the best that she took care of the adoption. You never knew what sketchy person would respond to a tweet; and besides, neither he nor Dan knew what they had to look out for in a person to take good care of Ivy. Best to leave it to Sara.

Dan had read out more screeching comments about the pets cuteness when he saw from the corner of his eyes how Ivy just slipped out her tongue and licked Sammy right across his face. The cat started and opened his eyes, giving Ivy and odd look. Ivy made a small howling noise and gave him her best puppy eyes. Phil giggled, watching the interaction unfold in front of him.

Dan had stopped reading the comments and was looking down, too. The two pets were staring at each other, until Sammy seemed to inwardly sigh (Phil could definitely see that look of defeat in his little face), stand up, and drape himself across both Phil’s and Dan’s legs, which were just close enough for Sammy to do that. Ivy looked decidedly happy and somehow managed to drape herself across their legs, too, and cuddle up close to Sammy.

Phil could literally hear the chat shriek in delight. Or maybe that had just been him.

“Okay, now we have to sit here forever,” Dan whispered.

“Is it possible to die of a cuteness overload?” Phil whispered back. He didn’t know why he whispered, too, but maybe they were both afraid to somehow shatter this very adorable moment.

They stared down at Ivy and Sammy cuddling up together on their joint knees, completely forgetting the live show that was still going on in front of them.

At some point Phil looked up and remembered that he was supposed to talk to his laptop and entertain his audience.

“Sorry,” he said and gave a sheepish laugh. “Those two are very distracting, I can tell you.”

Dan looked up, too. “Trust me, they look adorable now, but they have also decided to team up and make our lives as difficult as possible.”

“Yeah, like, they actually plotted against me to steal my bacon the other day!”

Phil and Dan went on to recount ‘The Bacon Incident’ – and then Dan talked about how Ivy defended him from some guys while he had walked her for the first time. Phil knew the story already, but he was still surprised how quickly Ivy had gotten used to his and Dan’s presence, and how fast she took a shine to them. He wondered if she would learn to love another owner just as fast?

“AmazingKat says ‘You should keep her!’” Phil read out loud.

“We can’t, we are just too busy. I mean, think of the tour! We’re going on tour this year, and we can’t take her everywhere!” Dan said.

Dan didn’t sound convinced, though. Well, Phil knew him well after all those years, and even though Dan said that they couldn’t keep the dog, his heart wasn’t in it. He wanted to keep Ivy just as much as Phil.

Phil thought about that. Would it really be impossible to have a dog and go on tour? Other people had busy lifestyles but at the same time managed to have a pet, if not more than one.

Phil opened his mouth to point that out, but he thought better of it. If he was going to talk to Dan about this, it would not happen in front of the camera.

Instead, Phil decided that it was time to end the live show – they had been at it for almost an hour this time.

“So we have to go now, it’s almost time to feed Sammy and Ivy,” Phil said. At that, Sammy’s ears pricked up. Phil really wanted to believe that Sammy had reacted to the statement of food, but he had probably just heard a car drive by.

“Bye Lisa, Amy-tan, jotelina, PlatonicCow, Haru-senpai...”

“...luca, Luna, Mariah,” Dan piped in. “jasmine, FurryFanatic, and okay, I'll stop here.”

Phil laughed, said another goodbye, and covered the camera with his hand until he had stopped the livestream.

Phil shut his laptop closed and looked down at Sammy and Ivy. They were still snoozing, undisturbed by Phil moving a bit to stop the show.

“You know,” he began, looking at Ivy. “Why can’t we keep her?”

Dan sighed, leaning back on his elbows. “Because we are way too busy.”

“We are mostly at home when we are not on tour.”

“And we are going to be busy during said tour for several months! What do you plan to do then?”

“Well,” Phil began, thinking fast. “We could take her to all our UK tour dates, and leave her in a dog hotel for the overseas shows.”

“You think that’s a good plan?”

“Er, yes, I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.”

Dan sighed again, shaking his head. “Phil, you are impossible. I mean, we said this was going to be our last tour, but we just don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. And we don’t have a routine to speak of, which is also not a good thing for a dog.”

“First of all, you are thinking to much of the future again. Yes, we don’t know what’s going to come, but we can’t just deny ourselves everything just because it might be inconvenient later on which we don’t even now yet. And Second,” Phil put up two fingers in front of Dan before he could interrupt him. “We got more of a routine thanks to these two, so don’t say it’s impossible.”

Dan’s lips thinned. He stared straight ahead at the wall in front of him and didn’t say anything.

“Other people have busy lives, too, and they manage.” Phil added.

Dan looked down at Ivy, who had woken up from her snooze and was looking up at him. If Phil didn’t know better, he would bet that she knew what they were talking about. Her eyes looked big and sad.

“Phil, I can’t even take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of a dog? And what would happen if we move into separate houses? Who would keep her?”

Phil had just opened his mouth to counter that line of argument, but Dan held his hand up and shook his head.

“I’m going to get their food ready.”

Phil watched in silence as Dan gently picked up Ivy, shoved Sammy from his knees, stood up and placed Ivy back on the bed before he left the room.

All three stared after Dan. Phil was perplexed; Dan acted like he really didn’t want Ivy around, but Phil knew that was a lie. But when he said he couldn’t care for her properly...but Phil would be there, too. And if they, at some point in the future, would split up, they would find a solution.

Was Dan just insecure? Was having a dog really such a big responsibility? Well, of course it was, but it wasn’t like Phil had suggested adopting a baby (which, frankly, he would have concerns about their shared expertise).

Or was he spiralling into a black hole again?

Phil wished, for Dan’s sake, that the latter wasn’t true. If it was an insecurity thing, he would be able to convince Dan of the opposite.

He looked down at Ivy, and his resolve got stronger. He would convince Dan to keep her.


	6. Grey Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a grey day for Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter deals with depression and mild agoraphobia. (It will be the only one of it's kind, though.)
> 
> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

Dan really should have seen it coming.

When he woke up, everything was grey. No, not really grey, but as if someone had sucked all the colours out of the world. Like he was suddenly colourblind.

The day before he had felt hopeless. The thought of not doing enough, not being enough, had been a constant in the back of his mind during the whole day.

Dan had been aware of it, but he hadn’t taken it as a warning sign and just carried on – such a rookie mistake. When Phil had started to talk about keeping Ivy out of nowhere, it had all come crushing down on Dan. He had felt so unfit for this life.

He had managed to prepare some food for Ivy and Sammy, and even compose a tweet to post about finding Sammy’s owners. After that, he had felt so tired so suddenly he threw off all of his clothes and had fallen into his bed, burying himself under his duvet and several cushions.

He vaguely remembered Phil knocking on his door, and Ivy’s feet hurrying across the floor. When he opened his eyes, Ivy was still sleeping soundly on her tiny bed right next to Dan’s bed. And the world had gone grey.

Ivy looked just the way she always did, small and white and fluffy. She looked peaceful.

Dan looked over at the windows. It was still dark outside. He considered looking at his phone for a moment, but his limbs felt too heavy to lift.

Dan was still tired, so he closed his eyes and fell asleep again. 

He woke up again with a start when something wet dragged across his face. Dan gasped and opened his eyes to see Ivy leaning on his bed with her paws. When she realized that he was awake, she gave a happy bark.

He was too tired for this.

He stared at her. Then he dragged his duvet over his face.

Ivy was silent for a moment, but then she started howling pitifully.

Dan threw the duvet off his face and hissed, “Ivy, shush, you’ll wake everyone up!”

Ivy fell silent in an instant. She cocked her head to the side and regarded Dan with anticipation. Of course she would. It was probably time for her morning walk.

If Dan was completely honest, he would much rather curl into himself and spend the day in his bed. His duvet shielding him from the world outside, everything muffled by his pillows.

But Dan also knew that life didn’t wait for him and especially Ivy couldn’t wait for him. She didn’t even understand what was wrong with him. He didn’t understand it, either, to be honest.

Well, he did, to a certain degree. And he knew, logically, that hiding in his bedroom wouldn’t help him get better. But that other part of his brain just saw all the grey and wanted to curl in on itself in agony.

Ivy was still looking at him, her tail wagging from side to side. Her tongue was rolling out of her mouth. She looked so awake and eager and Dan felt a little tug in the pit of his stomach.

Routine. Routine helped.

He pushed away his cushions and duvet and sat up. He stood and gathered some clothes that were lying on the floor. He felt like he was swimming in honey, only that his current state tasted less sweet. It was actually rather bland.

It felt like hours, but Dan eventually got dressed. He tiptoed out of his room and down the stairs. He grabbed the leash and his keys. He didn’t bother to take a coat. Ivy had been hot on his heels, and Dan only had to turn around to attach the leash. Before his brain could tell him anything else, he opened the door and slipped out of the apartment with Ivy.

It was still dark outside. Dan’s breath was coming out in little puffs. The air must be freezing cold; but Dan didn’t feel it. Objectively, his body must be cold. His fingers and toes felt stiff. But his brain didn’t register the cold. He didn’t feel anything.

It was a feeling that was all too familiar, and yet so frightening. Dan looked down at Ivy, who was happily trotting next to him. He immediately decided that they would walk around the little park nearby. But Dan would not walk there, he would run. He needed to feel the air rush through his lungs.

Dan set off at a light jog. He didn’t want to break into a full run because he feared Ivy might not be able to follow him.

Her little paws pattered away on the pavement. There was no one else around this early in the morning.

_worthless_

“No,” Dan said under his breath. “It’s just a thought.”

He increased his speed, his chest finally heaving for air. He could feel his lungs burn. Good.

Ivy was still keeping up with him. She actually seemed excited. Maybe she thought this was the prelude to some game, but Dan really could not play with her. Not now. Not today.

They reached the gates of the park, and Dan stopped, heaving for air. He still couldn’t feel the cold, but his lungs were on fire. Good.

When he regained his breath, Dan walked around the park with Ivy. She was done quickly, and actually seemed eager to go for a longer walk. Dan, however, was glad when they finally made it back to the flat.

All was silent when they came back. The lights were still out. Phil was probably still asleep.

Dan toed off his shoes, freed Ivy of her leash and staggered up the stairs into the kitchen. He felt so tired again all of a sudden.

He poured Ivy’s and Sammy’s breakfast on autopilot, then left Ivy munching on her food on her own and walked back into his bedroom.

Dan fell, fully dressed, on his bed and stared at the blank ceiling. When he was wrecked by a sudden chill, he grabbed his duvet and buried himself in it.

_no one likes me_

“Shut up,” Dan said. He curled himself further into his sheets.

He closed his eyes to shut out the world outside, and fell asleep.

*

Dan didn’t hear the knock on the door. He ignored it when the door opened.

“Dan?” Phil said. Dan could hear him shuffling up to the bed. Dan was lying with his back to Phil. He didn’t bother turning around, but he opened his eyes.

“I know you’re awake,” Phil said after a pause.

“Hm.”

“I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“Hm.”

“Are you mad?”

Dan didn’t answer that. Because he wasn’t mad at Phil. He was mad at himself. Or something. He couldn’t really pinpoint it. What he did know was that he was still really tired.

Dan could hear Phil take a step closer to his bed. “Are you okay?”

“Tired,” was all Dan was able to say.

For a moment, there was silence. Then, Dan could hear Phil turn on his heels and leave the room. Dan instantly felt a lot lonelier.

_everything i want to do will fail_

“Ugh,” Dan said.

Ten minutes of Dan staring at his pillows later, the door creaked open. Dan could hear Phil’s heavy footsteps walking up to his bed. There was a faint tinkling sound, as if Phil had placed something on the bedside table.

There was a pause, where nothing seemed to happen. 

“Did you take Ivy out for a walk?” Phil asked eventually.

“Yes.”

“Oh. Good.” Phil sounded surprised. Given how Dan felt, he was surprised himself.

There was another pause. “You really take good care of her.”

Dan didn’t answer that.

Phil seemed to hesitate. “I’ll be in the lounge. Text me if you need anything.”

Dan almost started when he felt Phil’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Promise me you’ll tell me if you need something?”

Dan nodded, hoping Phil could see it. Phil squeezed his shoulder once, then removed his hand. Dan could still feel the warmth, though. He could still feel Phil’s presence from that brief contact.

“Okay,” Phil said, then he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Dan turned around to see what Phil had left on his bedside table. It was a cup of coffee, in Dan’s favourite mug.

Without him wanting it to happen, tears shot into Dan’s eyes. How the hell did he deserve a friend like Phil?

He sat up in his bed and grabbed the mug. He didn’t feel like having coffee, but he felt like he owed it to Phil to at least drink a little bit.

The coffee didn’t taste as bland as he had expected it to. It was actually quite nice. However, it was a stark contrast to the whitewashed world around him. Dan needed a moment to adjust to this sense. He remembered his therapist’s advice, and tried to describe the taste and feel in his head.

Warm. Pungent. Earthy. Bitter. Sweet.

Dan drank about half of the cup. He couldn’t stomach any more. 

He flung himself back into his cushions and dragged the duvet up to his chin.

He should tell Phil more often what a great friend he was. How did he deserve Phil anyway? How could he make it up to him? Was he himself as attentive as Phil?

With these thoughts, Dan quietly drifted back into sleep.

*

Next time he woke up, Dan actually felt a bit better. Not as tired as before, but still unable to get up. He wondered what time it was.

The flat was silent. Dan guessed that Phil was probably working away on some video idea. Or on their tour. Dan instantly felt bad. He had planned to go over the set design once more with Phil today.

The absolute quiet around him was welcome, but also strangely unsettling. In their old flat, there had hardly been a quiet minute. Dan still had to get adjusted to their new surroundings.

Dan turned to lie on his back and stared up at the blank ceiling.

He simply couldn’t get up. He should get up and do something. But what would come off it, anyway? 

He really should get his ass up and look over the set design with Phil. Or go for a walk with Ivy.

When he thought about that, a chill went down his spine. The outside world seemed so much more daunting when the whole world was grey, fading into black. How had he managed to go out this morning?

He lay there for a while when he thought he heard the door open. He turned to look; didn’t Phil close it earlier?

That was the moment he saw Sammy sitting next to him beside the bed. He looked up at him as if he was waiting for Dan to say something. Dan just stared at the cat, then back at the door. Did this cat learn to open doors? Dan considered the possibility that Sammy might actually be a demon.

For several minutes, nothing happened. They just looked at each other. Dan had fully turned around and settled on his left side. He didn’t know what Sammy wanted, but he also didn’t want to throw him out.

Then, without warning, Sammy jumped up and unto Dan’s bed and immediately settled against his stomach.

Dan was so startled he couldn’t move. How did this cat, who obviously didn’t trust him, feel like lying down next to him all the time?

Dan blinked at Sammy. His ears were twitching. Dan realized that Sammy was purring. It reverberated through his stomach, reaching every corner of his tired limbs.

For some odd reason, Dan felt soothed. It wasn’t like Sammy hadn’t cuddled up to him before - okay, it had only happened once before – but somehow this felt different.

Dan tentatively reached out and patted Sammy on the head. Sammy turned into the touch and his purring became impossibly louder. Dan stroked his head this time, and Sammy gave a tiny meow before he stretched his limbs and nestled his body into the curve of Dan’s body, resting his head on the bed right next to Dan’s chest.

With trembling fingers Dan reached his hand to stroke Sammy across his back. Sammy didn’t move; in fact, he closed his eyes and it seemed like he had decided to take a nap then and there.

Dan didn’t know how long he let his hand trail along the soft fur. The only thing he knew was that, at some point, the only things that existed in this world were himself, Sammy, and the sound of his purrs. And the colour orange.

Dan could hardly feel his own hand anymore when he finally stopped and rested it on his side. Sammy didn’t stir. Dan looked down at him and felt...peaceful.

When Dan had woken up that morning, everything had been grey. He would have never thought that, quite so soon, there would also be a tinge of orange.

_life is just pointless_

When those words crossed his mind, unbidden, like they always were, Dan didn’t feel scared. They were just thoughts. And he would tackle them head-on.

He looked up and reached over to grab his phone from his bedside table. It was already afternoon. But that was okay.

Dan was still not feeling great, but at least he knew now what to do.

He texted Phil.

_> >can i watch you play some zelda?_

It only took seconds for Phil to reply.

_> >Sure thing famalam ;)_

Dan groaned.

_> >i hate you_

_> >Of course you do_  
_> >Im gonna order some pizza you want some?_

A small smile actually tugged at his lips. Dan quickly texted back, then put his phone back. He should probably plug it up.

Sammy had sat up to look up at Dan. When their eyes met, Sammy jumped off the bed, stretched luxuriously on the carpet, then made his way over to the door. Before he walked out, though, he turned around and gave Dan an intense look.

Dan sighed, then swung his feet over the bed and got up. He grabbed some fresh clothes from his wardrobe before he followed Sammy out of his room and down the hallway.

If Dan didn’t know better, he could have sworn that Sammy had looked very pleased with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me the longest to write. I tried to depict what Dan talked about in his video about his depression, but ended up really unhappy with it. After falling into depression and anxiety myself and, consequently, bad writer's block, I simply couldn't return to this fic. I only recently got my mojo (and courage) back and reworked this chapter, fusing my own experiences with what Dan let us know. I guess it's still rather tame, but it is what I'm comfortable with. Mind that depression is certainly not fixed in a day, but for the purposes of this fic, I needed Dan to get back unto his feet as soon as possible.
> 
> In other news: I wrote all the remaining chapters, so this fic will be finished soon! Editing those still takes a bit of time, but I promise I'll keep at it :)  
> Also, strap in for some serious bromance. It's just going to be worse from this point on!


	7. The Coat Argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil strongly believes that both Ivy and Sammy need coats to stay cozy in the cold season. Sammy doesn't agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

“What the eff is this?”

Phil really couldn’t understand why Dan sounded so surprised, looking at him with his eyebrows drawn together warily.

“Dan, it’s minus ten degrees outside!” Phil said and threw the amazon carton on the floor. “We simply cannot let Ivy walk bare-pawed in these temperatures!”

He picked up one of the four tiny boots lying in his lap. They couldn’t exactly be called boots, but rather fur-lined slippers. Phil tilted the boot this way and that way, inspecting the dark-blue velvet on the outside, and the off-white faux fur on the inside. The sole of the boot was made of a rubbery material that reminded Phil a lot of Ivy’s paws.

Dan still had that frown on his face, but he had put away his phone and turned to face Phil on the sofa. Ivy was lying at their feet, munching away on a treat that Sara had left the other day.

Dan snatched one of the other boots and looked at it. “I guess you’re having a point.” He threw the boot back into Phil’s lap and pointed at the pile next to Phil. “That does not explain this.”

“Well, you cannot wear boots without wearing a coat,” Phil said and picked up the matching little coat. It looked so comfy, Phil actually felt a little bit envious of Ivy.

Dan pursed his lips. “Okay. And what is this?” He picked up the garishly red pile with two fingers.

“I didn’t want Sammy to be jealous?” Phil said, uncertain. It did look cuter on the picture.

Dan detangled the mess of coarse velvet, which gave off pieces of red fluff. Phil might have to brush through it before he could put it on Sammy.

“How the hell did you think it was a good idea to buy this?” Dan exclaimed, horrified, looking at the two pieces in his hands. It was a little red jacket, trimmed with white fur, and a matching bobble-hat. “You bought a fricking Santa outfit for a cat in January.”

Phil snatched the little outfit from Dan’s hands, hugging it protectively to his chest. “It was the only thing on amazon that I could find!”

“It’s January,” Dan said again, his eyes wide. “What the hell do you plan to do with this?”

“Err, put it on Sammy?”

Dan raised an eyebrow. “I want to see you try. I bet he really doesn’t like to be put into a coat. Not even if it looked nice.”

Phil raised his chin and gave Dan a challenging look. “I bet he’ll love it.”

Dan met his gaze, and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Bet you the last packet of mini-marshmallows that you can’t even put it on.”

“I bet I can even take a cute photo on top,” Phil said and stretched out his hand.

“Deal,” Dan said and they shook hands, their gazes far more serious than the occasion warranted. But then again, it was mini-marshmallows. Mini-marshmallows were a serious business, as far as Phil was concerned.

*

“Sammy, come back down here!” Phil bellowed. Sammy hissed at him. Phil sighed and turned to look for a chair to get that damn cat down again.

He really didn’t have a clue how Sammy had managed to climb up their board game shelf in the sitting room. How on earth did Sammy manage to climb up those cardboard boxes that would topple over when you only looked at them the wrong way? Phil had no idea. Then again, cats had nine lives and telepathic superpowers when it came to dinner times, so he wasn’t all that astounded that Sammy was able to climb to impossible heights and precarious grounds.

Sammy was sitting on top of the shelf, cowering into the corner. His ears were flat against his head, tail swishing, emitting a continuous low growl. He was watching Phil’s every move through tiny slits. He was wearing the red fluffy coat; the tiny bobble hat, however, had been lost in the fight Phil had with the cat.

Phil walked into the kitchen to retrieve one of the chairs. When he grabbed the handles he got a good look at his arms. He cursed under his breath and walked back into the sitting room.

Stupid Sammy. Stupid, stupid Sammy.

Phil had successfully put Ivy in her coat – and gosh, she looked so damn adorable in it, Phil might have actually died. He had been fawning over her and taking several pictures while Dan had put on his own coat.

Phil had scrolled through his camera roll, trying to choose the best one to post on instagram. They had all looked so damn cute that Phil had had a hard time choosing just one.

He had looked up from his phone when Dan attached the leash to Ivy’s collar and grabbed her little boots from the cabinet. When he stood, Dan had turned around to give Phil an obnoxious smirk.

“Have fun with Sammy and the fur-coat of horrors,” he’d said with the most saccharine smile he could have mustered, then left the flat laughing at Phil’s pouting face.

“I’ll show you,” Phil had said and immediately set out to go and win that stupid bet.

The plan had been perfect. He would grab the costume and the treats, go to the living room and sit on the rug, call for Sammy, give him some treats, put on the costume, and take some cutesy pics. Perfect. Bet won.

Sammy did come for the treats. He did eat them out of Phil’s hand.

He did not, however, want to be put in a garishly red Santa Costume.

Phil didn’t exactly know how he had managed it, but at some point the coat was on Sammy, and his arms were covered in scratches of various shapes and sizes.

As soon as Phil had let go of Sammy to grab the hat, Sammy had taken the opportunity to escape and run out of the room. Phil had run after him from room to room, until he had lost sight of Sammy and searched for him, calling “Sammy! Here, Sammy!” while rattling the packet of treats. He did feel like an old lady looking for her lost kitten.

Eventually he had found Sammy sitting, inexplicably, on top of the gaming shelf, hissing as soon as he saw Phil.

Phil put down the chair and climbed on top of it. He fished the packet of treats out of his pocket and looked up at Sammy.

“Sammy, come on, you don’t want to stay up there!”

Sammy growled at him.

Phil sighed and retrieved one of the treats. It was shaped like a tiny fish and had an odd cheesy smell about it. He scrunched up his nose and held it aloft. “Don’t you want this?”

Sammy narrowed his eyes.

“Okay okay, I swear I won’t put the hat on!”

Sammy didn’t look convinced.

“Just let me help you down, okay?” Phil said and extended his hand to give Sammy the treat. Sammy immediately slid further into the corner and gave an angry hiss.

Phil jumped and almost dropped the treat. Oh boy, Sammy was angry with him. Looking at him, Phil could see why. The coat was scrunched up at the back, as the elastic holding it in place had gotten out of place. Sammy’s fur was trapped underneath the wrong way and he was completely covered in red and white fluff. On top of all of that, the coat looked absolutely horrible. So ‘Fur-coat of horrors’ was actually a very accurate description of that thing.

Phil carefully placed the treat in front of Sammy, but as far away from him as possible. Phil wanted to give him space to calm down and trust Phil in his intentions. Plus, he didn’t want more scratches on his arms. He really should have put on a long-sleeved shirt. A destroyed shirt was a hundred times more acceptable than completely wrecked arms.

Sammy didn’t look at the treat. He was still watching Phil through narrowed eyes. Something in Sammy’s expression hurt Phil’s heart, and he felt unsettled all of a sudden.

When Phil thought about it properly, it had been really cruel of him to force Sammy into this costume. After all, Sammy was just a cat and couldn’t understand any of it, or defend himself from someone who was bigger and stronger than himself. This was, Phil realised with a start, bordering on animal cruelty.

Sammy had every right to be mad at Phil.

Phil suddenly felt very, very nauseous. He was ashamed of himself, and all he could think of at that moment was that he hoped that Sammy would forgive him.

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!” Phil said, throwing his hands in the air, his voice pleading. “I swear I will never ever try and put you into costumes ever again. Just don’t be mad at me! Please!”

Right at that moment, there was the sound of keys in a lock and then the front door opened and closed, bringing with it Ivy’s happy barks to announce her return.

“Brrr, it’s cold outside!” Phil could hear Dan say.

Hearing Dan’s voice and Ivy’s barking, Sammy’s ears pricked up and he looked down at the door.

“Phil? Where are you?” Dan called. Phil was certain he could hear the evil glee in his voice.

“Up here,” he called back and sighed again. He really wasn’t looking forward to Dan’s gloating in face of Phil’s obvious loss.

Immediately Phil could hear Ivy’s paws clicking on the stairs, with Dan’s heavier tread following. Phil looked up at Sammy, who was now sitting on the edge of the shelf, staring down at the door with wide eyes. He was completely ignoring Phil.

Phil turned his head when Ivy came crashing into the room, running up to his chair and barking at him happily. She was still wearing her coat. She looked so damn cute.

“Err, Phil, why did you put the cat on the shelf?” Dan said. Phil looked up at him. Dan was looking between Phil and Sammy, trying to suppress a grin.

“Ha ha,” Phil said humourlessly. “I tried to put on the costume and he didn’t like it and ran away from me.”

“Told you so,” Dan chuckled. Phil glared at him.

Sammy gave a high-pitched meow, and Dan and Phil turned to look up at him. Even Ivy sat down to better look up at her friend. She gave a happy bark in return.

Sammy stared down at his friend and kept on mewling. It was obvious that he didn’t know how to get down from the shelf but really wanted to join Ivy down on the floor.

Ivy must have realized that, too, because she barked up at Sammy, then jumped up and barked at both Dan and Phil, as if to say, “Do something!”

“Alright, calm down, I’ll get him down,” Phil said. Dan, who had stood in the door up until that point, walked up to Phil, looking between him and Sammy.

“Do you need a hand?” Dan said, his brows furrowed in concern.

“No, I’ll manage,” Phil said, just like the child he was. Sammy did look calmer than before, so maybe he would at least let Phil grab him to put him down on the floor…

Phil had never been more wrong in his life.

It happened all so fast; Phil reached out to grab Sammy. Sammy, turning to see Phil extend his hands to him once more remembered that he was still cross with him and hissed. Phil, who had already grabbed onto Sammy, jumped at the hissing and almost dropped him. Dan called out “Careful, Phil!” and Ivy gave a frightened bark which both agitated Sammy even more. Sammy thrashed around in Phil’s arms so much that Phil had trouble holding onto him. Phil lost his balance, the chair started to wobble, Dan shouted and then Phil’s left foot slipped off the chair.

Phil squealed, Sammy growled, Ivy barked, Dan shouted his name and then suddenly the world was horizontal.

Phil was lying on top of Dan, on the floor, behind the sofa with his head spinning. He had lost his grip on Sammy, who had managed to jump out of his arms and far away from Phil. Ivy was nowhere to be seen, but Phil could here the faint clicking of her paws outside the sitting room.

Under him, Dan groaned. “Get off me you oaf!” He shoved at Phil’s face.

Phil swatted at Dan’s hand and gave an annoyed grumble.”Get your hands off me!”

“ _Excuse you_ , but you’re lying on top of me and your fucking heavy!”

Phil groaned, rolled off Dan and sat up. He felt a bit dizzy, but landing on top of Dan had cushioned his fall and he didn’t bump his head or any other extremities. He did, however, have a lovely bleeding addition to his already impressive collection of scratches.

Next to him, Dan sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

“You’re such a klutz, Phil,” Dan groaned.

“Sorry,” Phil said, looking down at his hands sheepishly. He didn’t plan to fall off the chair, but he felt guilty anyway.

“Oh. My. Gosh. Did Sammy do this to you?” Phil snapped his head up when Dan took hold of Phil’s left hand to examine the scratches up and down his arms.

Phil sighed. “Yes, that’s Sammy’s masterpiece.”

Dan began cackling like mad. Phil felt really offended. He puckered his lips and gave Dan his best death-glare. It only made Dan laugh harder.

“Yeah yeah, just say ‘I told you so’ and get it over with,” Phil said and wrenched his arm out of Dan’s grasp.

Dan didn’t say anything because he was still laughing, so Phil just rolled his eyes and stood up. “You need a hand or do you plan on staying on the floor laughing like a maniac for the rest of the evening?”

Phil extended his hand and Dan took it, letting himself be pulled to his feet. He somewhat calmed down when Phil rounded the sofa and sat heavily on it, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He didn’t feel like looking for neither Ivy nor Sammy. And he really didn’t want to face Dan right now.

Phil could hear Dan leaving the sitting room, and he was eternally grateful for that. If he was being honest, he just felt like sulking and scrolling through tumblr for a bit. Just until his arms stopped stinging like that.

It hadn’t even been five minutes when Dan came back into the room and flung himself on the sofa right next to Phil.

Phil had really intended to ignore Dan. He knew it was petty and kinda silly, because he had been the one who had managed to fall off a chair and right on top of Dan, but his ego really had been wounded enough today – and quite literally at that. He didn’t want to be reminded by Dan how much of an idiot he was.

Dan, however, seemed to have other plans. In one swift motion he grabbed Phil’s left hand and pulled it towards him.

Phil shrieked and nearly dropped his phone. “What are you doing?”

Dan arched an eyebrow and held a small bottle up for Phil to see. “Cleaning the scratches, obviously?” He pulled at Phil’s arm again, making Phil scoot closer. Dan placed Phil’s hand in his lap and unscrewed the bottle to spread its contents on a cotton pad he had brought with him.

“This doesn’t need cleaning,” Phil said, pouting at his friend.

Dan put the bottle down and grabbed Phil’s hand again so he couldn’t pull it back. “Yes, they do. Now hold still.”

As soon as Dan dabbed the first scratch with the cotton pad, Phil hissed and tried to wrench his arm free. “It hurts!”

“Hold still!”

“No, give me my arm back!”

“Do you want them to become infected?”

“No!”

“Then hold still!”

Phil bit down on his lower lip and watched Dan dab at the scratches. It stung at first, but he slowly got used to it. Dan’s forehead was scrunched up in concentration. He put a band aid on one of the more severe scratches, then let go of Phil’s hand and gestured for Phil to give him his other arm. Phil complied without saying a word. His right arm wasn’t as battered, so it didn’t take long for Dan to finish up sanitizing those scratches.

“There,” Dan said, letting go of Phil. “I have tended to your battle wounds.”

“Ha Ha,” Phil said, inspecting his arms. The scratches did look less severe than they did before.

“I’m sorry you won’t have proof of the epic battle that took place in our flat today.”

Phil glared at Dan. Dan just smirked. “What, the ladies are really into scars.”

“What century do you live in?”

“I don’t know what you are referring to, oh Sir Lesterton,” Dan said and giggled.

“Okay fine, stop it, you won, okay?” Phil said, exasperated, throwing his hands in the air in defeat. “Please just stop it! This is already really embarrassing, okay?”

Dan started laughing again, but this time Phil couldn’t help but join in. This was just so bizarre and weird. But he felt a fun video idea popping up in his head.

“I told you Sammy wouldn’t like it!” Dan said, wiping tears from his eyes.

“I know, but it was worth a try,” Phil said, leaning back on the sofa.

Dan arched an eyebrow and indicated Phil’s arms. “Was it really?”

Phil looked down at his scratched up arms and contemplated the whole embargo. “No.”

Dan huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “Lester, you are unbelievable.”

Dan then turned and produced the last packet of mini-marshmallows from somewhere. “However, that means that I won the bet,” he said and gloated at Phil.

Phil hung his head in defeat. He really had wanted to eat those marshmallows. But he also knew when he lost a bet. He shouldn’t have added the picture-bonus. He could have been the victor even if Sammy didn’t like his coat. He wondered where Sammy and Ivy had gone. Hopefully they weren’t making mischief. But knowing those two, they probably were.

Something banged into his head, and Phil looked up to see Dan dangling the packet of marshmallows in front if his face.

“Well, you did get him into the coat, so I’m willing to share,” Dan said and popped some marshmallows into his mouth.

Phil’s face instantly lit up and he took the packet gratefully. “Thanks!”

“I am such a good friend, aren’t I?”

“Yef you a’!” Phil said around a mouthful of marshmallows. Dan smirked and Phil rolled his eyes.

They both sat happily munching on marshmallows for a while until Dan coughed slightly and got his phone out of his pocket.

“Remember you didn’t put on Ivy’s boots before we went out?”

“Oh yeah,” Phil said, giving the little marshmallows in his hand a thoughtful look. “I totally forgot. Did you put them on?”

“I did when we got to the park,” Dan said and pulled up a video on his phone. “And she wasn’t that keen on them either.”

Phil leaned over to look at Dan’s phone. The video showed Ivy standing on a patch of brown grass, looking down at her paws.

“Ivy!” Dan’s voice rang out, and Ivy looked up and into the camera. “Come on!”

She took a tentative step forward – and then all her limbs were flailing around, paws stuck up in the air. She looked like a spider that didn’t know what legs were.

Phil burst out into violent cackles, holding up a hand to his mouth to stifle the laughter to finish watching the video.

Ivy had stopped dead in her tracks. “Come on, Ivy!” Dan’s voice coaxed, obviously suppressing laughter. “Come over here!”

Ivy looked at the camera and took another step, but this time she raised her hind leg so high she almost toppled over.

Phil was roaring with laughter, and both Dan in the video and Dan next to him were laughing like maniacs, too.

Ivy in the video didn’t look impressed.

“Oh no, poor thing,” Phil said, whipping tears from his face. “But it looks hilarious.”

“It does, but I didn’t have the heart to keep her in them after she fell over after that,” Dan said, putting this phone away. “So neither of us has been successful today.”

“Well, at least she didn’t use you as a scratcher.”

Dan giggled, and Phil joined in, sneaking another handful of mini-marshmallows.

At that moment Ivy trotted back into the room, Sammy hot on her heels. Ivy was still wearing her little coat, but Sammy had somehow gotten rid of his. They both curled up on the rug, closing their eyes.

“How did Sammy get rid of that hellish coat?” Dan asked, looking down at Sammy with furrowed brows.

 _Or, more importantly,_ Phil thought, _where did he hide all the pieces?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bromance is strong in this one


	8. The Spider Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan _really_ doesn't like spiders, but Sammy and Ivy are there to help!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for spiders and arachnophobia.
> 
> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

Somehow, Dan had managed to survive the Lester-Birthday-Festivities and before he knew it, it was already February.

It had been over two weeks since Dan had posted a search tweet on twitter. Shortly after that, he and Phil had gone to their nearest animal shelter and pet shop to put up notices about Sammy. They even went to the vet after one of their very clever subscribers pointed out that Sammy might have a microchip and they could easily find the owner that way – but there was no microchip to be found. It was really frustrating.

Sara also didn’t have any luck in finding a new owner, but she did point out that she was extremely choosy. She had apologized at least a hundred times about that and had offered to take Ivy back any time. Of course, both Dan and Phil had refused. Dan had tried to tell himself that he didn’t like to go back on his word, but if he was completely honest with himself, he kept Ivy because he liked having her around.

It was weird how normal it had become for him to have a dog and a cat around. He had even gotten used to going out with Ivy three times a day (Phil pitched in as well), and he was actually looking forward to their walks. When he could afford to have a day off, which became more and more difficult as their tour approached, Phil would accompany Dan to go drive out to a bigger park. They would play fetch with Ivy and actually spent more than half an hour outside at a time. At those times, Dan wished that he and Phil lived on the outskirts of London so they could take Ivy somewhere nice more frequently, but she didn’t seem to mind where they were going as long as she got to play outside.

Dan sank back in his office chair and sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Ivy was snoozing by his feet, while Sammy had decided to take up residency on Phil’s lap. Phil was sitting on the chair next to Dan, his laptop in front of him. He ignored it while he searched for something on his phone. Or maybe he was just scrolling through tumblr. Dan couldn’t quite understand why Phil didn’t just use his laptop to do whatever he was doing, but then again, it was Phil. He rarely made sense.

Dan looked down at the fluffy ball lying at his feet. Ivy was completely dead to the world, her ears twitching from time to time. She was so peaceful, and Dan had gotten so used to her presence that he honestly couldn’t imagine her leaving. He thought about this more and more these days because just a few days ago Sara had texted him that she might have found someone who fit the bill.

Dan looked over at Phil from the corner of his eyes. Phil didn’t know about this. Dan wasn’t all too keen on telling him, either. He could tell that Phil was already way too hung up on Sammy, and Ivy had a special place in his heart, too.

Over the last few weeks, Phil had dropped some very obvious hints about keeping Ivy. Dan wasn’t against having a dog per se, but there were just so many things to keep in mind. The city. The tour. Their lives. Who knew when one of them would meet someone and move out, and then who would keep Ivy?

To Dan, all of these things just sounded like lazy excuses. They could actually work around most difficulties with Ivy there. Even the possibility of them separating could be figured out (but Dan guessed that this wouldn’t happen all too soon for several reasons). He couldn’t really put his finger on why he was unable to say yes to all of this. Maybe it was because Sara had finally found someone, and Dan didn’t want to take away the dog from them? Was it because he was scared?

Dan gave another sigh and sank further into his chair, glaring at his laptop as if it was at fault for not writing the script for his latest video.

“Did you say something?” Phil asked and regarded Dan with a curious glance.

“No,” Dan said and sat up straight again. “I just don’t know what to do about this script.”

“Maybe come back to it later? Have a break?” Phil suggested. He looked back at his phone and absentmindedly patted Sammy’s back. The cat purred and closed its eyes.

“Did you retweet the search tweet?” Dan asked and stood up to flop down on the couch behind them. Ivy stirred, but didn’t get up.

“Just this morning,” Phil said, not taking his eyes off his phone. “Didn’t get anything back.”

Dan pursed his lips and stared at the ceiling. Then he looked back at Phil with furrowed brows. “Aren’t you supposed to write your disstrack?”

“I am writing my disstrack. I’m just taking a little break, that’s all.”

“U-hu,” Dan said, looking back at the ceiling. For some reason, his brain felt empty. Maybe it was still the aftermath of Phil’s birthday get-together the day before. It had been the third one in a row, and Dan hadn’t been able to talk himself out of that one or the ones before. Maybe he should just book a holiday for next year and escape the socializing hell until it was over and celebrate Phil’s birthday with him in peace afterwards. Just the two of them, that would be nice.

As it so often did, Dan’s gaze wandered and fell on Ivy’s sleeping form on the floor. It really didn’t matter what she did, she was always so damn adorable Dan couldn’t really decided whether he wanted to turn into a puddle or scream with joy. He fished his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture of Ivy. He sent it straight to Sara. After all, he had to keep her updated on Ivy’s well-being.

Dan let his hand fall back on the sofa. He stared back at the ceiling, as if it was able to give him the script he needed. It didn’t, obviously. But it was worth a try.

Maybe he should just get up, move around a bit and while he was at it, get a drink. Hydration was important to keep your brain working. Dan flung himself onto his feet and headed for the door.

“Hey Phil, I’m gonna get myself some water, do you –” Dan started but didn’t finish as he let out a very high-pitched scream and scrambled back to the sofa, startling Phil, Sammy and Ivy.

“A spider!” Dan screamed and jumped on the sofa, waving his hands frantically in the general direction of the door. “Spider!”

The spider was a gigantic, hairy monster that was just casually walking through the door and into the office like it owned the place. At least that’s how Dan saw it. Sometimes he couldn’t be all too sure, as his phobia tended to transform and pull at his vision as soon as he spotted a spider.

Phil had whipped his head around, spotted the spider, squeaked, dropped his phone on the desk and followed Dan onto the sofa. In the process he had dislodged a disgruntled Sammy and almost fell over in his haste to get to Dan.

“Take it away, take it away!” Phil squeaked, gripping Dan’s arm hard and attempting to hide behind Dan’s back.

“No, you do it!” Dan squeaked back, grabbing Phil’s arm and pushing him away. He would not be a human shield between Phil and a fucking spider.

For about two minutes Dan and Phil wrestled on the sofa, trying to push each other in front of themselves. Dan didn’t let his eyes loose sight of the spider, which at some point stopped dead in its tracks, as if to consider which way to go and wreck more havoc.

“Stop it Phil!” Dan said and shoved Phil hard, almost throwing him off the sofa. Phil squealed, his arms flailing in the air to regain his balance. When he was standing upright again, he gave Dan a dirty look. 

“You’re the worst friend ever,” Phil declared.

“Shut up!” Dan said without looking away from the spider. “How about we figure out what to do?”

“I’m so not going to get down from this sofa,” Phil said.

“Me neither!” Dan said and finally looked up at Phil.

Phil crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at Dan. “You know exactly what that means.”

“You can’t be serious! We can’t rock-paper-sicssors about this!”

“Yes we can! How else are we supposed to ever get down from the sofa?”

Dan mirrored Phil’s stance and hissed angrily, “I am an arachnophobic, I just can’t, Phil!”

“I’m afraid of spiders, too!”

“I’m more afraid of spiders than you!”

“No, you aren’t!”

“Yes, I am!”

“Twice that!”

Dan stomped his foot, which elicited an ominous cracking sound from the sofa. “That’s so unfair! I listed my fear of spiders in TABINOF while you talked about horses!” Dan gave Phil an evil grin. “How about you pick up the spider and I promise to remove any stray horse from your sight should we encounter one?”

Phil stomped his foot, too, and the sofa cracked again. “Not fair! We don’t leave the house often enough to actually meet any horses!”

“Nothing’s impossible!” Dan shouted.

“I think you are a crap friend!” Phil shouted back.

Before Dan could retort something really nasty, Ivy barked. He whipped his head around to see her standing over the spider, looking from it back to Dan and Phil on the sofa. The spider was completely frozen. A bit to the side stood Sammy, regarding the spider warily.

For a moment, everyone was still. Dan held his breath. Then, Ivy extended a curious paw to poke the spider. Before her paw could even so much as touch it, the spider scrambled backwards. Ivy jumped and gave an angry bark. Phil squeaked again. Dan couldn’t help but jump as well as soon as he saw the spider move. He could feel his heart rate pick up in speed, and he felt a faint nausea in the pit of his stomach.

The spider stumbled towards the nearest wall which happened to be the one next to the desk. 

_It definitely wants to hide,_ Dan thought, and oh fucking hell, if it got behind the desk they would never be able to get it out there.

Dan’s gaze fell on Sammy who had, as soon as the spider had started moving again, ducked. He was watching the spider’s every move narrowly, but he didn’t move so much as an inch. Ivy was still barking, and Dan was torn about what to do. Someone had to do something, but he felt like he was glued to the sofa, his knees shaking from the mere thought of getting near that thing.

Suddenly there was a flurry of movement, and it all happened at the same time; to his left, Phil jumped down from the sofa, stalking towards the desk; Sammy leaped on top of the spider, and Ivy pounced on it, too.

Dan heard Phil gasp as he fell back a little. They both watched their pets’ flailing limbs. Dan couldn’t make out what happened until Ivy stepped back and gave him a good view of Sammy.

Sammy was lying on the floor, his paws on the spider, which looked pretty dead to Dan from where he stood. It at least seemed a lot flatter than before. Dan could barely make out the tips of its legs poking out from under Sammy’s paw.

And then Sammy leaned forward and swallowed the spider in one gulp. Dan and Phil gasped in disgust and Dan averted his gaze. He really couldn’t watch Sammy chewing on that thing.

Dan sank down on the sofa, shaking all over. He took in a deep breath and counted each inhale and exhale to calm his racing heart. It was over, the spider was gone for good, and all would be fine. Dan knew, however, that he would obsessively check his surroundings for more spiders for the rest of the day. Working on his script at all was not going to happen today. Great.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked. Dan looked up at Phil, who regarded him anxiously. “You look a bit pale.”

“I’m fine,” Dan said through gritted teeth. He looked away from Phil and spotted Ivy, who was walking over to him with her tail wagging.

“Who’s a good girl?” Dan cooed and patted Ivy on the head. “Who saved me from the big scary spider? Yes, you did!”

Dan grabbed Ivy and cradled her to his chest. She licked him once across his right cheek and allowed him to just hold her. Her soft fur and warm little body immediately calmed Dan down. He buried his nose in her fur and just breathed.

“You know, Sammy helped, too,” Phil said.

“I’ll thank him after his snack,” Dan said. He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see or hear anything right now.

“You know, I was about to go and do something about the spider,” Phil pointed out.

“And you decided to do that after you tried to bully me into doing it even though you are well aware that I’m terrified of spiders?” Dan snarled. He looked up to give Phil his dirtiest look. Phil did have the decency to look ashamed.

“And it was uncalled for to call me a crap friend,” Dan mumbled and buried his face in Ivy’s fur again. Ivy gave a little huff and lay her head on Dan’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Phil said. “I didn’t mean it. I was just so scared myself.”

Dan grumbled, but didn’t look up. He was actually angry with Phil this time.

“I’ll make you some tea,” Phil said and rushed out of the room.

Dan stayed on the sofa with Ivy, counting his inhales. At some point, Sammy decided to jumped up to lay down next to Dan. He sprawled out and yawned, lying down to take what Dan presumed to be a digestive nap.

Only when Dan felt his heartbeat slow down, he leaned back and let Ivy lie across his lap. He couldn’t keep his eyes from scanning every corner of the room for more spiders. He continued to do that until Phil came back into the office, carrying two mugs and a packet of hobnobs.

Dan wordlessly took the offered mug and sipped it. He refused to look at Phil.

Phil sat next to Dan and sipped his own tea. They both said nothing for a while.

“I sometimes forget how bad it is for you,” Phil said eventually.

“Hm.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Hm.”

“Like, actually, really, deeply, sorry.”

“...”

“Can you ever forgive me, Daniel?”

Dan sighed at Phil’s overly theatrical voice. He was sure that Phil had also pulled all registers by whipping out his best puppy-dog eyes.

And sure enough, when Dan turned to look at Phil, his friend was giving him his best wounded-puppy-look. Dan rolled his eyes at him, but couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Alright, alright, it’s fine, just stop looking at me like that!”

Phil turned to sip on his tea, a smug smile on his face. Dan rolled his eyes again. Phil really was impossible.

“Did you know that spiders have to pump blood into their legs to be able to move?” Phil asked out of the blue.

“No,” Dan said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “I don’t think I really wanted to know that.”

“It’s like their having a mini-errection every time they move a leg!”

“Ew, Phil!”

Phil just laughed at Dan’s outraged expression. Dan couldn’t help but join in, but not after giving his friend a playful slap on the shoulder. “Where the hell do you get facts like that?”

“A podcast,” Phil said, idly patting Sammy on the head.

Dan looked down at the cat lying between himself and Phil. Dan was glad that all the remainders of the spider were safe in Sammy’s tummy and not on the floor or his face. Dan raised his hand and scratched Sammy behind the ears. Sammy instantly went into purring-mode, and- Dan smiled down at his tiny savior. Ivy raised her head in curiosity, but stayed put on Dan’s lap.

Right at that moment Dan couldn’t help but hope that Sammy actually didn’t have a previous owner. And that Sara would be unable to find a new owner for Ivy.

Dan sat there, patting Sammy and smiling to himself. He was completely happy with everyone and the world.

Phil coughed. “Dan?”

Dan looked up to see Phil looking at his phone with an unreadable expression.

“What is it?”

“Sammy’s owner found us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a bad arachnophobic I actually had trouble writing this chapter. I'm such a wimp.


	9. No Sulking Allowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is sulking and Sammy is having none of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

“Phil, come on.”

“No.”

“I ordered pizza for dinner!”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Oh come on, you can’t lie on your bed and sulk all day!”

“Hm.”

Phil had his back to the door with Dan standing in it, but he could feel Dan rolling his eyes at him.

“You knew from the very beginning that we couldn’t keep him.”

Phil didn’t say anything to that.

Dan sighed. “Well, do what you want. I’ll be in the kitchen eating your pizza.” And with that, Dan was gone.

Phil turned to lie on his back and stared at the ceiling. Of course he had known that they couldn’t keep Sammy. There was his allergy, for one (which he actually managed quite well with his meds), and also the fact that Sammy clearly was already a domesticated cat. He had to belong to somebody.

But when the vet didn’t find a chip on him, Phil had hoped that Sammy might be a stray cat after all. A very groomed, friendly stray cat, but a homeless cat nonetheless.

Nothing they had tried had come to fruition, and Phil had been convinced that his only hurdle to keeping Sammy would be Dan. Phil had been sure that he would be able to talk Dan into keeping Sammy, though, because Dan was just as fond of the cat as Phil was (despite everything he always said about not trusting Sammy). Even Sammy loved Dan in his queer little way.

But of course then Kate discovered Phil’s tweet. Phil suddenly wished he had never re-posted that tweet.

Kate had emailed the address Phil had created just for the search. She had written that she had discovered the tweet via one of her students at school, and that she instantly knew that it was her cat. She had described that weirdly star-shaped white patch on Sammy’s belly that really only the owner could know of. She also wrote that she hadn’t chipped him because he was actually supposed to stay indoors, but he had somehow managed to escape the house and ran away.

We thought Pirate might have been killed outdoors, she wrote. I would love for us to arrange a meeting so we can make sure it really is my daughter’s cat.

“Pirate,” Phil said, his voice dripping with disdain. “What a stupid name for a cat.”

In truth, Phil thought the name was brilliant, but he would not admit that to his bedroom ceiling.

Phil had shown the message to Dan. He had pursed his lips, and Phil immediately saw that he was just as dismayed by the message than he himself was.

“We should call her,” Dan had said eventually. “See when she can come over to pick up her cat.”

“Do you think this is for real?” Phil had asked.

“That’s why we’re going to call her first and see if she’s for real or not.” Dan had tapped on the screen and indicated the phone number Kate had written under her name.

As Dan refused to talk to people on the phone on principal, Phil had been forced to call Kate. To his utter disappointment, she seemed genuine. She wanted to see “Pirate” to be absolutely sure that it was her cat, so they decided that she should come over on Sunday to have a proper look at him.

That was just two days away.

Phil turned to lie on his side again, hugging his knees to his chest. He stared at his dresser, hard.

Stupid Kate. Stupid Dan. Stupid Sammy.

Stupid, stupid Phil!

If Phil had just never let Sammy into the flat, Sammy would have never entered his life. He would have never stolen his bacon, or interrupted his live show, spread cat hair everywhere, cuddle up with him or become friends with Ivy. 

He would never have had the chance to worm his way into Phil’s heart and leave it so broken.

In the end, it was all Phil’s own fault. He should have left Sammy wailing on his doorstep and just not give a shit.

But it was too late for that now, and Phil just wanted to feel miserable and sorry for himself for at least a little bit. There was enough time to play all adult on Sunday.

He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. He really didn’t feel like eating dinner, or joining Dan in the lounge. All he felt like was sleeping his sadness away.

However, this was not how his body worked, and Phil lay with his eyes squeezed shut for about two minutes before he groaned and rolled on his back, his arms and legs spread across his bed.

“This is shit,” he said to the ceiling. The ceiling didn’t respond, but Phil was sure it agreed.

Suddenly, something flung itself next to Phil on the bed. He flinched and turned his head to see Sammy standing right next to him, eyeing him curiously. His tail twitched in the air.

Phil let out a sigh. Sammy knew damn well that he wasn’t allowed to hop on Phil’s bed, but Sammy didn’t seem to care, and quite frankly, Phil didn’t care right now either.

Phil turned on his side to face Sammy, throwing his arms out. “Cuddles?” he asked, even though he doubted Sammy would actually cuddle up to him.

How wrong he was.

Sammy carefully picked his way over to Phil, turned on the spot, and flung himself against the nook of Phil’s body. Sammy aligned perfectly with Phil’s curved stomach. Phil stared at the cat, wide-eyed. He wasn’t really sure what had happened that he deserved this.

When Sammy started purring, Phil lowered his right hand and let it slide through Sammy’s soft fur. Sammy’s whole body was vibrating, and Phil felt calmed by it. He thought that, maybe, Sammy had sensed that Phil was upset and came over to calm him down? He knew that it was just wishful thinking, though. Sammy was probably just in the mood for cuddles. And yet, Phil liked to believe that Sammy was also thinking of him.

Phil rested his head on his left arm, looking down at Sammy, his hand stroking his little body. The repetitive motion, the soft fur, and the purring soon expelled any other thought from Phil’s mind, until there was only Phil and Sammy. Only the same motion of his hand, the texture of orange fur, and the vibrating little body.

It was only when Dan poked his head into the room that Phil realized that he felt a lot better than before. Not happy about his circumstances, but better. Like he could accept it.

“You feeling better?” Dan asked.

“Yeah,” Phil said, his gaze wandering to Sammy, who had decided to stand up and jump down from Phil’s bed.

“Well, the pizza’s arrived, so if you feel like dinner...”

“Yes,” Phil said after his stomach gave an audible rumble. “I’ll be with you in a sec.”

Dan nodded and left. Phil sat up and looked down at Sammy. The cat was sitting next to his bed, looking up at him expectantly.

“Do you want me to come out of my room and stop sulking?” Phil asked with a chuckle.

Sammy meowed. Phil’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He didn’t feel like he was allowed to protest, so he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. Sammy got up, too, and led the way into the lounge.

*

For some reason both Sammy and Ivy thought it was very necessary to flank Phil on the sofa while he was eating. They didn’t, to both his and Dan’s surprise, beg for scraps. They actually behaved themselves for once and lay next to Phil, dozing peacefully.

Phil and Dan ate their dinner in silence, watching a new episode of Free!. Phil noticed that Dan had ordered Phil’s favourite. He felt a bit teary-eyed from all the attention he got from all of his housemates. He felt so spoilt and grateful, and the cuddles and his favourite food did manage to make him feel a lot better.

Phil still didn’t like the idea of Sammy leaving them for good, but he knew that it had been inevitable, and that Kate – and her daughter – must miss their pet terribly. He tried to think about his hamsters and how he would have felt if one had gone missing to then learn that it had been living with someone else all along. This thought helped him to see this last Saturday they would have together as something to look forward to instead of dread.

When the episode was over, Dan grabbed the remote and turned off the telly. Phil watched as he sat back on the sofa, staring at the black screen in front of him. His lips where pressed together in a thin line. Immediately, Ivy sprang up and tried to lick his face.

“Ah, no, Ivy!” Dan giggled, ruffling Ivy’s head.

“You okay?” Phil asked.

Dan took hold of Ivy and hugged her close to his chest. “I don’t like the thought of Sammy leaving, either, you know,” Dan said.

“I know,” Phil said and immediately felt like the worst friend ever. “I’m sorry.”

Dan looked over at Phil. “What for?”

“For being a pain in the ass.”

Dan chuckled. “You only realize now that you are a constant pain in my ass?”

Phil rolled his eyes and shoved at Dan’s shoulder. “Ha-ha, very funny.”

Dan shoved him back. “I mean it, you are a constant pain in the ass.”

Phil pursed his lips and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Yeah, thanks. I’m trying to be real for once.”

“Phil, leave it, really. You have emotions, that’s not something to apologize for.”

“Still. I didn’t realize that you would miss Sammy, too, and I’m sorry for that.”

Dan looked down at Sammy, who had decided to climb on Phil’s lap. “It’s really odd how fast they grow on you.”

Phil looked at Sammy, a smile spreading across his lips. “Yeah.” Phil then eyed Ivy, and his grin got wider. “We still have Ivy, though.”

Dan followed Phil’s gaze and he smiled, too. “Yes, we do. And we still got tomorrow with both of these troublemakers.”

Phil reached out to scratch that very specific spot behind Sammy’s ears. Sammy instantly began to purr. “I still can’t believe that his actual name is Pirate.”

“Me, neither,” Dan said. “It’s so much cooler than Sammy.”

“Right?”

They sat there for a while just patting their pets, when the bell rang. Phil and Dan exchanged confused looks.

“Do you expect someone?” Phil asked.

“No,” Dan said, and the bell rang a second time.

“I’ll get it.” Dan jumped off the sofa and tucked Ivy under his arm.

Phil patted Sammy’s head absentmindedly, thinking about who it could be. He didn’t expect any parcels, and it didn’t seem like Dan expected anything either. It was way too late for the postman to arrive anyway. Maybe it was someone wanting to talk about God? Phil immediately felt very grateful that Dan had volunteered to go and see who was at the door.

Phil could hear the door open, Dan’s surprised voice, then someone else’s voice. The door shut again and there was shuffling. Phil craned his neck to get a glimpse through the open door, but the tiny slit didn’t give much away.

Then Dan entered the room, still holding Ivy under his arm. He looked bemused, but not unpleasantly so.

Before Phil could ask who it had been, Sara barreled into the room right after Dan, a huge smile on her face.

“It’s Sara,” Dan said, rather redundantly.

“Hey there Phil!” she said, following Dan into the lounge. “Sorry to bother you so late, but I was just in the neighborhood.”

“That’s fine,” Dan said, putting Ivy on the floor and placing his hands on his hips. “Can I get you something?”

“Oh no, I’m fine, I won’t be long.”

Dan nodded and sat down on the sofa. Phil motioned for Sara to sit, too, but she just shook her head. “I’m just too excited to sit right now. I have great news!”

She planted herself in front of Phil and Dan, putting out her hands in a way that Phil could only describe as a power-pose and said, “I’ve found a new owner for Ivy!”


End file.
